Let's see. I was at a party. I had friends there. (One of my friends just had a baby) and we spoke about baby stuff. A woman showed up, and she began making these cutting remarks at myself and my friends. I was eating raisins, and my mouth was dry and it was hard to speak. She was saying things like: good thing you're wearing black, it's very slimming. With a smile, like she was complimenting us, but really being a massive cunt. I marched up to this bitch and told her that just because her mother treated her this way did not give her the right to spew that trauma back out at us. She spat on me.
She called the police and accused us of child molestation. (I had read a reddit post about this yesterday and it really bothered me.)
I was in front of the police commissionejudge and she was going on and on, and eventually said: "she never touched them" and the official immediately threw the case out.
It was like a movie montages, and he decided to charge her with providing a false statement, defamation, everything he could.
I ended up going home, I had this great little room of a hallway. She fucking followed me, brought some minions with her, and I had to contanstly fight her off. It took hours. My nephews were there. She ordered them shitty food: like broccoluy and habanero cheese and green bananas. She eventually walked to a wall of tools and took down a hand saw while looking at my children. I, again, marched right up to her and held that saw to her throat and physically threw put off my property. She can back with law enforcement.
Saying the building was unsafe and unfit. Her minions had erased all evidence we had been there. But as the police stepped in, a hand reached out from under a bed, and presented them with a folder full of evidence, and spoke to them. I'm glad I can't remember what the Old One said. I don't need to know.

I pulled her card from my lockbox today. I couldn’t bring myself to remove it from its wrapping though. I’ll explain the card in a little while. Even in just that briefest of moments though, the tears became too thick. I so wanted to see her name. Instead I decided to only go back to the memories. They bring enough tears. So I put the card back but need to tell my story of that memory. So thank you for your time in letting me indulge dear Reader. I know your time is precious and I am loquacious of a sort.
The place I used to work at a long, long time ago, Croc’s, was an odd duck. It was a Transformer of sorts. During the day and early evening it was a damn good Mexican restaurant. One of the best in town. Lunch was insane. Dinner was a respite. But on Friday, Saturdays, some Thursdays, and almost every holiday eve, it was… I don’t even have words. Nothing like what went on in those walls had been seen in Denver at the time. We had lines around blocks. The plural is not a mistake. On those nights, Croc’s was THE place to be in Denver. The owners got there before everyone else and had hit a jackpot with the place. The Rockies were starting over at Mile High and moving to LoDo soon. LoDo was booming and we were in the middle of it partying like no tomorrow every night.
But this isn’t about that amazing place, that’s for another day. Nope. This is about her, her son and I. Or rather, about loss and memories. But it all started at Croc’s and you needed to know what a breath of a moment in time we shared there. Not on one of those crazy nights but one lazy Sunday when we were pretty slow.
I mentioned the restaurant was an odd duck. See, it was designed so that from breakfast through dinner and into very early evening, it was a purposeful, full-fledged, extremely popular, and well reviewed dining establishment. But after that, it was designed so we could remove every table, chair, stool and booth. We essentially turned the whole restaurant into a giant dance floor with a bar that spanned half the distance of the long wall topped with massive tequila and booze pyramids. The wells were at either end with a plant potter behind them for storage. It was split level(ish) with a few VIP areas squirreled away. State of the art DJ booth on the south end of the bar. Oh and did I mention we had a 28 foot replica of a Nile croc suspended from the roof named “Hal”.
The owners were a group of friends who had grown up in the business. One of them was from the family that started Senior Frogs and the like down in Mexico. They had all met and worked at some of the hottest places in the state and been to some of the craziest places around the Americas. So when I say no one had seen anything like it, they hadn’t. We had a person that would blow tequila from a custom bong into a partier's mouth from 30 feet away. Our DJ’s were the best in town. We poached the absolute best in talent from every bar in a 4000 mile radius. That movie “Cocktail”? Yeah, that was this place on steroids. Hell, beside myself and 1 or 2 other guys, our security eventually turned into off duty SWAT cops. All these places around Denver and, hell, around the country you see now? Yeah these guys started it right there in LoDo.
It was the paper and crayons we would put on every table though where my memory begins.
There had been other places that had done what we did with the butcher block paper. It went on every table with crayons. It wasn’t the most innovative thing there but it was fun and the patrons enjoyed it. Many great artists out there! And of course the kids loved it. A lot of the folks who lived around there would bring their kids with them for lunch or dinner. I worked a lot of Sunday day shifts because a) everyone was hung over and never wanted to work and b) it was usually a nice bit of quiet after two nights that would make Caligula jealous. Plus the people who did come in were usually pretty cool and just out for a good meal. It was pretty chill after all that joyous chaos.
My section was usually the front lifted area just in front of the potters and a few tables in the middle. I was splitting with the other server that day since it was more dead than usual. A beautiful Colorado day back then. Blue sky with puffy clouds. Perfect temperature with no wind so the front doors to the small little patio were open. You could smell the flowers from across the street. The other server let me know she had sat a couple of people at one of my four tops. Sounded good so I headed out to say hello.
It was customary for us to write our name on the paper when we showed up. It was hokie but everyone loved it. It was our way of saying welcome and have fun! Some servers could do it upside down but I could never get the hang of that.
I headed down the bar toward the front, preoccupied with getting my marker out for the intro. I remember coming around the corner of the potter and just kind of coming to a juddering stop at the top step, tripping and almost falling on my face. Luckily she was a little preoccupied with her son and getting him situated so she missed seeing me make a gobsmacked fool out of myself.
I luckily regained what little balance I could alongside some composure quick enough to walk up and say hi. She said hi and then kind of waited. “Oh yeah dumbass” I said to myself as I told her, or rather flubbed, my name as I wrote it in the corner so they could read it right side up. She giggled a little bit as most people did with my nickname at the time. I hadn’t noticed but her son had been waiting the whole time for that moment. He grabbed his crayon and wrote his name and her name in front of them. “That’s a good name isn’t it?” I asked him. I told him it was the same as mine but the longer version. He was a little surprised by this as I went by “Scooter” back then. It took a second but he quickly realized it was a nickname. He had signed the long version of our name and said that’s what he liked. Right on man, you got it. Damn smart kid. You can tell, ya know?
After that briefest of moments, I shook myself a little and introduced myself for, I think the fourth time now. She tells me her name but it is instantly gone. Not only because of the effect this moment is having on me, but just because I am bad with names on the first go around. I don’t think we heard what either was saying anyway. Our eyes were locked and in that moment, it was all that mattered somehow. I can remember how deeply they shined. Her hair was a little damp and unkempt like someone in a hurry but has that respect for herself. Dark like her eyes but shining from the light outside. A simple blue/light purple and white striped shirt. Slightly damp around the shoulders. Worn jeans. Not the designer type but jeans aged with a good strong life. Blue canvas deck shoes with the white souls if I remember that part right. Maybe black canvas. I saw all this without ever breaking her gaze.
It was as if in the same moment we both realized we were in the same place together but not there alone. A moment later we both found ourselves apologizing for talking over the other. Sheepishly, like teens on their first date. Giggling a bit. Not knowing what was happening but knowing that something most definitely was. I apologized for the awkwardness and I think I cracked a joke or something but neither of us knew what to do. There was a calm panic and, I dare to say, a longing that was unknown?
It was her son who brought us both back to reality. He had asked if we had Coke or Pepsi. I shook myself internally again and told him we had Coke but could find some Pepsi if he really wanted it. Luckily he was not a Pepsi kid. I also told him that, yes, I would be happy to add a cherry to it. This time though when I met his eyes, I looked at myself when I was that age, as I answered that question. I hadn’t noticed it. Like a mirror as they say. Dark brown hair full of cowlicks. Round face with a big smile. Getting that cherry meant the world to him. I remembered that same feeling again through him. It was like looking at a version of myself I only saw in pictures.
At this very second in time I remember being terrified. Not “scared” terrified. It was more like, holy shite is this happening? What is going on? I wanted to turn and run and hide but somehow regained what little composure was left in that split second. I turned back to her and saw that she had just seen what I had seen. I could see wonder, joy, confusion, happiness, peace, thrill, fear and hope that I am sure were being reflected in my own eyes. We both needed a few minutes. We each could see it. It was overwhelming. Again, not a bad overwhelming but one of those moments where you need to put your hands on your knees and take some big, deep breaths.
The whole 3 or 4 minutes were surreal. And I will never forget them. I will fight as hard as I can to hold onto the others I have of both of them.
Somehow I managed to Charlie Chaplin myself away to get their drink order. I believe hers was a Sprite with a lemon. Normally I would go right around the corner of the plant potter and get the sodas from the guns there. Instead I went all the way to the back station. I needed to breathe. It seemed like an hour but I headed back. By this time the son was going to town. He had talent and it showed. It seemed like we had regained ourselves somewhat but the whole meal was kind of like an episode out of a teen comedy. We giggled, laughed, blushed, and did all the other things you would expect to see from two teenagers who discover they like each other. It wasn’t like I was trying to stay with them, or they tried to keep me there. It just kind of happened. I’d start to go away and she would ask me back for something simple. I would bring something I had forgotten in case they needed it. The whole meal went that way.
When they were done and ready to go, I was dreading it. Should I ask her out? She had mentioned she was single. It felt like I should ask her out. Like I said, the whole visit was surreal. There was no ring or even a suntan line of one (Don’t judge me, it was a different time). I wasn’t seeing anyone either. We seemed to get along amazingly, both her and her son. Even my fellow server noticed and was egging me on. It was obvious. Doing something like that with a client back then happened. Not usually in the first 30 seconds but you never know. I made up my mind to walk them out as I had no other tables and see what happened. I took the check to the table. She was packing her bag. I had gotten a refill for his togo cup and handed it to him. He said thank you and said he drew something for me. They had carefully torn it from the paper and he handed it to me. It was the three of us holding hands. How I held the tears then I do not know. I was a different person there at that precise point in time. At this moment those tears are here though.
I bent down to his level and thanked him sincerely. He said he was glad I liked it and he hugged me. I heard her try to stifle her gasp. Thank any or no gods or whoever for him. He let go, grabbed his Mom’s hand and said he was ready to go. As I stood up I could see tears welling in her eyes. He hadn’t done that to another man in, what she said, was a very long time she would tell me in a quiet voice as we started to walk toward the door. That was it. I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t even noticed that when we got to the big double doors, he had grabbed my hand. It just was there.
By this time I do not think either of us really knew what to do or what was going on. I mean, this was an impromptu outing to a place her son had liked because of the paper. It was a cheap and good lunch and then off to wherever for them and another table for me while I rolled silverware in the back or stocked the empty quicks from the previous night. But it seemed like it had been years together but only moments, if that makes sense? I certainly did not know what to do at this point. I think I mumbled what a delight it was to be able to spend time with them and I hoped they had enjoyed themselves or something like that. I honestly could not tell you. By this time she had regained herself somewhat. That girlishness turned into an elegance, beauty and strength that I had not seen before. But those same feelings exchanged in that momentary glance were still there. As was still a bit of moisture along the bottom of her eyes. We made a bit of small talk till he got a bit antsy and wanted to head off.
As we said our goodbyes that day, almost at the same time, we asked our questions. I asked if she would like to come by again soon with her son. His birthday was coming up I think and I could get the guys in back to make him something special. At least I think that was it. Her’s was if it would be ok if they came back soon. You know because the little guy liked drawing and the food. More childish giggling and laughing. And before she left she gave me her card and said to call if I was going to be working again on a Sunday or just whenever. As they walked together, hand in hand down and around the corner, I just stared at them and then the card over and over.
That very card I put back in a safe place tonight.
She was a designer as it turned out. I didn’t pry into her past as it sounded like it wasn’t all that great at times. She came by the restaurant a few more times after that. I then called once or twice to say hi and how they were doing and to let her know to come by. Eventually she asked me out. We spent some time together and it started to get a little more serious. She was a few years older but not by much. She was driven and forthright. Quick witted and compassionate. And such a good Mom with a massive heart. I was young then, somewhat good looking, fairly well paid and worked at the hottest spot in the state. And I had this woman I couldn’t get out of my head. Even my coworkers knew and could see what was going on whenever we were together. Either just the two of us or all three of us. Walking on clouds was an apt statement. At this point I want to point out that while I am no saint whatsoever, I do consider myself a decent person. At least I was back then and for the most part today. Things have changed as they always do but I digress.
Eventually the moment came. The serious date. She had a small but fantastic apartment downtown and wanted to make me dinner for once. I don’t think she was done asking before I said yes. We set a date for later that week. I remember it was a Saturday because me taking a night off from that place, with all its amazing moments each night to the amount of money you walked out with each night to leaving one of the other bouncers with one of the other guys he wasn’t used to, was a pretty big deal. Had to call in favors but everyone just said go. No one there batted an eye. They all seemed to know what a big deal this was somehow.
We set it for a little later in the evening so I could get things in proper working fashion up front of the house and then head over. Any of you who have worked in a restaurant know that smell you get. Kind of need to have worked in that environment to know I guess. So that night, I didn’t have time to head home then come back. So I had a change of clothes and a vanity bag so I could clean up in the back. Wouldn’t be the first time I got sprayed down by the dishwasher but probably a first for this reason. Cleaned up pretty well, freshly shaved and quaffed, walking so far above Cloud 9 I lost track of which one I was on. Headed out to put the work kit and bag in the truck. On the way out a few who knew what had been going on smiled or waved.
And off I went. I was a little late but she said she had expected it given the night of the week. Back then, downtown Denver was different. Colorado was different. I guess everywhere was different back then. But in this instance, I mean in an architectural way. You didn’t have the towers all around LoDo as you do now. From some rooftops you could still watch a sunset over the mountains. Say what you will, even I have to admit that a purple and orange sunset over the mountains is quite possibly the most beautiful natural thing I have seen. It is immense but oh so fleeting. Just like our lives I guess. You could still hear birds and bugs over cars at times. I wouldn’t say it was peaceful but it was at least calm?
She was lucky as her apartment, though smallish, came with a hidden bonus. Her window allowed her to access the roof on the next building. A part of it anyway. But this little slice of hidden wonder allowed a view down Market Street, across Spear, over Auraria and then the mountain view. It was stunning. Like the apartment, the space was just cozy enough for two to enjoy a little rooftop barbeque and dining. She gave me the quick tour and we poured some wine. She was going through the menu as we “headed outside”. The door was a small little window. I remember scratching my head and thinking I may not fit out there. She handled it with the grace of a ballerina and said I could do it. It took a minute or two but I contorted my clumsy self outside. And she was right. It was spectacular.
Not just the view but what she had done with her little corner of peace. She had talked with the building owner who agreed that she could use this space as he didn't even know about it. It was like something out of a commercial today. A nice little seating couch type niche. Well built trellis with some small Christmas lights for effect. A little brick grilling area with a hibachi going. I can still smell it. The table with candles and dinnerware. Decking. I was taken aback. The way it was situated insulated her from the sounds down below. You could hear them but it was almost like distant white noise. It was just peaceful. I remember remarking about this. She said she discovered it by accident when her son thought it might be a good play area.
Dinner was wonderful. The night went on. There wasn’t a sense of time. Just us there in that little part of the universe that was only hers. To this day I do not think I felt that safe before anywhere nor since. Someone was letting me into one of their most sacred spots. Literally and figuratively. I felt privileged. Almost as though I was treading somewhere I shouldn’t be. I think that thought was my downfall however. Don’t worry dear Reader, you will understand all that very soon. We watched that sunset. It was perfect. The right contrast of colors. Just the right amount of clouds to change those colors ever so slightly. A reminder of how something can change for the simplest of reasons.
As night grew darker it started to get cold. The goosebumps we were feeling on each other's skin holding hands and looking at the stars weren’t just from feelings. It was getting cool so we moved inside. After safely dousing the grill and making sure the coals were in their proper place, we cleaned up. Since it was easier, I stayed outside and handed them into the house to her. We figured it would be safer for the dishes. Giggled some more as we came to realize more and more things about each other at the same time. Finally the outside was clear. I stood outside for another minute to take in what was happening. I think that is then that little bit of fear weeded its way in without my realizing it. This was as close to perfect as I could ever dream I thought.
After squeezing back inside, assisted again but ok with that, we cleaned up the dishes and opened another bottle of wine. The inside was just as cozy. At some point she had lit some more candles and had some soft music going. Light jazz if I remember. Not loud at all. Again, there, just outside the periphery. Sitting on the couch I can feel her sitting next to me. We are close. Two people holding each other wanting to believe but not sure if this is real. There was almost a vibration. The constant goosebumps were not because of the cold anymore. Once we were both comfortable and we just talked. For hours and hours. There were the intimate moments but nothing scandalous. A tenuous kiss from one to the other.
We talked about what two people talk about who truly want to know the other. I believe we asked as many honest questions of ourselves as we did of the other. We really, truly, wholly wanted to know each other. And that is what we did. The more we talked the more comfortable we felt. Each of us had our scars that were not easily revealed. Nor did we reveal all of them that night and guarded them well. But we each wanted to know if the other was someone we could trust with those deepest places that we all hide in the darkest parts of our soul.
We talked a little about her son’s father but not in depth. It was easy to see that was one of the scars. We talked about her son. Why she was so astonished that first day. My heart wrenches this very moment dear Reader upon remembering that. Her hopes for him. His likes and his dislikes. Some of the stories parents tell others to embarrass their children later in life. We talked about what futures there could be not for us but for him and his world. He really was an amazing kid and I am sure has grown up to be someone she can be proud of. Time did not exist that night. Feelings and thoughts were exchanged that did not need to be said. We just knew each other that night.
We never did finish the second bottle if memory serves, we talked, laughed and sat together in peaceful comfort and gave no care about anything else. But tomorrow was coming as it always does and we had to leave each other. I remember the closeness as we held each other. The pressure of two bodies at that singular moment in time. That one instant that feels as though it could last through infinity. When two become one and feel the safety, love, compassion, trust and sameness that is rarely, if ever experienced.
Pardon me dear Reader but must ask a moment to compose myself. We are getting close to the end of my tale so also ask for just a bit more of your time. I know how so very precious it is. Thank you for allowing me to continue.
I do not know how long we held each other. To this day I wish it had been so much longer however. I do remember leaving. Working where I did, I was sadly but actively very familiar with many different levels and types of inebriation. That feeling that morning however was something that surpassed all that I had experienced in my life. I had never felt like this. I knew that the sun was starting to come up as I parked my car. I knew that I got through the door, downstairs and then fell asleep. I wasn’t drunk. It was pure. A pure love, happiness, joy and trust I had never felt from someone else. This feeling was so powerful it had knocked me for a loop that I just was not ready for.
I awoke later that day, thankful I didn’t have to work. It was late in the afternoon and I felt like I had been hit by a bus but didn’t care. I believe that the night before we both had excised many things that we had held inside for so long. I could (and can) still remember the whole night if not the words. I felt like one does after you give everything physically possible to something and have nothing left to give. But it felt right. Regardless of the ending, I do believe that, even though brief, that night, two people who had needed to find each other did. I think they needed to know that there was at least one person who understood, even if they hadn’t needed to actually say anything.
Now dear Reader I must ask you to remember that part about fear. Given my early life and life up to that point and to this day, I do find it very hard to trust. So this was something I had to confront. And so I started to. Instead of seeing what she saw in me, I saw the things I thought were ugly. I got scared that those scars would be peeled away and she would be repulsed. And these thoughts and fears grew. We still saw each other and talked for a while after that night. But my fear took over quickly. Before I knew it I had driven her away. There was no maliciousness about it. The thoughts that had ruled my life for so long before her and then after her, to this day, always got to the same thing. If you let her in, she will leave because of who you are. It was idiotic but it was ingrained at this point. I eventually told her I didn’t think it was going to work out. The truth was that I was scared. Scared to let her in. I hated myself for not being honest with her. She would have understood. Probably more than any other.
After that, I went on with my life as a young person does in that atmosphere. I saw her one time after that final talk. She waved as she and her son sat in a section away from mine. I waved back and remembered going out back and beating the hell out of our cooler there. I was so mad at myself then. While the anger passed as life threw one thing at me after another as it does until I find myself here today writing this, the pain of losing her has never healed. Nor do I want it to. That pain also brings memories that I so rarely experience anymore. I buried it for a long, long, long time but recently I find myself thinking about her and her son more and more. What would have been?
For you see dear Reader, that moment was my perfect chance. Not long ago in my life I was diagnosed with cancer. I eventually beat it but it has long since ruined my life. But that is not why I tell this tale. I ask for no sympathy. My life is where I am supposed to be. I have come to peace with that. To an extent I guess anyway. The reason it was my perfect chance is this. I was also diagnosed with a genetic defect which essentially makes me a cancer producer with no natural way to fight it. My mothers father died of colon and pancreatic cancer. My Mother has beaten 5 different bouts of cancer. I have been tested and confirmed. So if I had had a child, I would more than likely have passed that to them. After listening to what my mother watched her father go through. After watching my own Mother fight this monster 5 times and win each time. After all that I was horrified to learn that I could have passed this monster to someone I would have loved with all my heart.
I never married and never had a child. For most of my life I regretted that most of all to the point of shame. I am the last person in my familial lineage that will ever carry my name. My line dies with me. For the longest time that has been a great burden. However, after the geneticist confirmed me and a great deal of internal contemplation, with the aid of hindsight, part of me is glad that I never had a wife and child who would have to go through the horrors I have heard about, watched and gone through first hand and personally. That at least brings me a modicum of inner peace. Do not be fooled ever though. This monster is evil. It takes everything from all but the luckiest.
And I had my moment of perfect chance. Even though I did not know it at the time, I had an opportunity to spend the rest of my life with two someones who I truly believe to this day, loved me. Even if for so very briefly. I gave up the chance to be able to be a husband and care for someone I believe I loved and loved me. I had a chance to be the father I wanted to be without passing on my monster. To see a child grow into their best self. I get angry at times that I did this. Not necessarily my own selfish needs. I am also mad that this person trusted me and I couldn’t do the same in the end. That I let a child down who for his own reasons let me in when he shut others out. That we could have been the family we could have been. And I ran because I was scared. I can never forgive myself for doing that to them. This may sound selfish and perhaps it is but it is my history.
And now dear Reader we come to the end of my tale. Where it all began.
Her card.
I think you will understand why I put it away instead of taking it out after this. I mentioned that she was a designer. Her card is exquisite. I don’t need to see it to describe it. There is a silver cord ribbon wrapped around a waxed paper tied in a bow. It sparkles silver but is brittle after all the years. I can slide the card out carefully but don’t want to take a chance of damaging it. My hands aren’t the best anymore. The writing on the card is done with a most excellent penmanship in purple over white with black. The backing is white with the black used as border highlighting with purple as the border and main color. There is a bit of sparkle in one of the purples but not a garish amount. Just enough to catch the eye. The back is similar with details of her work at the time as well as some contact information. I don’t know if she did this on all of them, but there was a scent of her perfume that accompanied it for a while. It, like much else, has faded.
We all have a place to keep our most precious items. This one rarely leaves that place for me.
So in the really bad times dear Reader, I try to look at that card. I say try because it is very painful to try to do so. Today was one of those days and I wanted to share it. In the end I couldn’t get past the tears to look at it so returned it to its safety. Not really because of the pain. Believe me, the pain is there in vast amounts. But because of that first moment. I needed to remember what that feeling was like. I needed to remember what it is to look in another's eyes and see the whole universe and all its infinite possibilities. Some regrets, regardless of time, will always follow you. Be honest about that with yourself dear Reader. Today I needed to remember her and him. I needed that acceptance. That peace. That joy, That trust. That love.
This time however I needed to commit this to our history so that perhaps at least one other will read it and maybe it will impact somehow. This is not meant to be a moralistic tale. It is just a tale of love lost. A life that could have been different. I hope, dear Reader, that your life is filled with wonder and love. Do not miss a single chance in your life because of fear. Be cautious but be open. Your world is massive but also miniscule. The chances don’t happen often anymore so grab them and hold onto them when you can. Try to think of all possibilities and look through others' eyes. But most importantly. If you do find your perfect moment, do not let it go dear Reader. It may never come again.
That is the end of my tale. I thank you so much dear Reader. As I have said many times, your time is precious and I have taken enough. Safe journeys to you my friend.

General Frimpong had been pacing away the day for a while now. Nervous about the report being late. If anything had gone wrong, they were done for. This was in truth, a last resort. The Kryptionian invasion force was right on their doorstep. Trillions of mighty solar powered supermen, ready to tear apart the civilization general Frimpong held dear. A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.
“Come in,” he yelled.
The door to his office opened and in stumbled a man, holding a stack of papers that he was trying to keep balanced. As soon as he had reached the desk, he plumped down the package, and relieved swept the sweat of his brows.
“This is it, sir,” he saluted.
“Is everything in place, did everything work as planned?” asked a visibly anxious general.
The man looked at the general with smile as he proudly proclaimed. “Yes, project black-out is ready!”
After hearing the good news, general Frimpong forwent the paperwork and set out toward the executive chambers, where the team in charge of execution resided. Entering a frantic room, filled with scientists running about the place, the general scraped his throat.
“Ahum, I am here, personally, to oversee the execution!” he said, with as much authority as he felt was appropriate.
Every scientist stopped in the tracks and saluted the general.
“We’re ready to go, sir!” said one of them, that looked to be the lead of the bunch.
A female scientist that sat on a rotating stool in front of a board filled with buttons and switches, pushed a couple of things on one of the touchscreens. On the big screen centrally positioned in the room, appeared a view of their local star. Around the star were thousands of scattered metal shields, each with their own loading bar on the screen. Slowly the bars filled, signifying the readiness of the shield to be deployed.
“Ready, when you are, general!” said the scientist, hovering her hand above a big red button.
Everyone on the planet had been prepared. Rations and night goggles had been dispersed, as well as months of propaganda, warning the citizens of what was to come. It would be hard on them, but it was the only way.
“Ready!” roared the general.
With the push on the bottom all shield surrounding the star were activated. Each of them generated an extraordinarily powerful magnetic field, aimed to attract the nearest shield to them. As all the hexagonal metal behemoths slowly drifted towards each other, so were they pulled in by the gravity of the star they orbited. It didn’t take long for the majority of the light to be blocked out and with every passing second the rays that did escape, became smaller and smaller. Until finally, as all the pieces clicked together as intended, there was no more starlight. Their sun, that had shared his light with his people for millennia, now encapsulated by the Dyson-sphere. The general grabbed a set of night goggles from the table, as the room he was in was now only lit by the faint blue lights of the screens. He positioned the goggles until they fitted just right and said:
“Let them come!”

Here we go again, another long winded and self indulgent analysis of the music used in a screenplay. For anyone who hasn’t seen one of these before, it’s entirely skippable and you can enjoy the screenplay without having read this. Honestly you’d probably enjoy it more without having read this first, spoilers and such below for my Max Sec screenplay as I go song by and explain my thought process and anything else that enters my mind such as what songs used to be there instead of what ended up actually there.
“California Dreamin’” by The Mamas and The Papas:
Initially in the first draft this was a placeholder, people may have noticed a trend that the first song and title song usually represent the general overarching theme of the film, not just the specific moment they are featured like most others used do. For a significant amount of time this film was actually set around Christmas time, it was going to be late November into December, however this didn’t work with the timeline for Basic Training and Lauren’s story, so seeing as I wasn’t going to put that off to the next film it had to take place in March the next year. This messed up two things, firstly the song which had initially replaced the placeholder (which was going to be a Christmas song as a sort of connection to the snow, the time setting and the ironic jolly Christmas time being entirely incongruent with the awful prison environment) and secondly the day each event takes place on, which matters more later. I went back to California Dreamin when “The Great Date Shift” occurred for two reasons, I preferred the overarching connection of the song itself, given the song is about homesickness (something Lauren would be experiencing) and specifically mentions California where unbeknownst to them would be where the climax takes place and it is a Classic American song which I was trying to use more of in this screenplay in particular due to it being the one big truly American adventure we get. Additionally I quite liked the way I wove the song into the scene diegetically as we don’t have radios or such so having to use another new way of getting music into the scene with Lauren’s delirium which is a real phenomenon as described by an ice climber who fell down a glacier and ended up stuck for days in the cold, having Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” playing round and round in his head despite the fact he hated it, so I just changed the specific song and came up with a reason for where Lauren would have heard it from. Of course because this took me 18 months to finish annoyingly another series of Stranger Things came out and then played a cover of this by The Beach Boys in that, making it (I think) the third time they’ve beaten me to using a song, so the score is 3-1 between me and them if we’re counting lol.
“Jailbreak” by AC/DC:
The title song for this one, as mentioned before links to the overarching plot concerning the jailbreak itself and also introduces AC/DC as another band to become a regular addition to future soundtracks. This is a lesser-known AC/DC track from their early days that I just really liked the sound of and thought was a funny coincidence that they could be introduced here with this and that it has the exact same name as the originally intended and then used later “Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy was just another part of the charm behind using it.
“Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting” by Elton John:
A really punchy song and another Classic British Artist, this is one I’d long had the idea of using in this specific scene, just like using “Radar Love” by Golden Earring for the Mustang drive in Class A, this was essentially a set point that I was definitely going to use and the whole rest of the film was built around it. Of course, when “The Great Date Shift” occurred it meant the scene itself went from being a Saturday to no longer being a Saturday and there wasn’t any way to move the scene to a Saturday while keeping the internal logic of the Basic Training dates with the pre-established rules of when they happen from previous films. So I’m stuck with a deeply unsatisfying day for this to happen on, oh well!
“Cold As Ice” by Foreigner:
Another late change, as it was originally going to be “Snowbound” by Genesis however I have a rule not to use the same band twice in a film and I wanted to use Genesis for the last song so it had to change. Not too much to be said about the choice here, I wanted something that fit and wouldn’t be too obscure that would connect to the end of Basic Training.
“Learn To Fly” by Foo Fighters:
Trying to include some music taste for Lauren now in contrast to James, the music that she would be into would be more contemporary so I decided to go for a popular contemporary band and this was what I found that best fit the scene itself. I don’t know too much about this band, from what I understand they connect to Nirvana which was previously featured in Class A, so the inclusion also felt like a nod to that.
“Highway Star” by Deep Purple:
Very early on this was selected to be in here as part of my choice to use “American songs” as much as possible, but this has deeper significance, as the band Deep Purple are actually English and this song was specifically written by them to try and pretend to be American and have an “American Sound” which was very popular at the time. It seemed fitting given what the plot of the film is. This kickass Rock song about driving as fast as possible would fit anywhere in the various different car chases used but seemed most appropriate here.
“Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd:
Whenever this song is featured people always seem to focus on the solo, which is of course understandable because it is the particularly stand out moment not just of this song but probably of the whole discography of the band, however I felt like seeing as this solo was used to great effect in Kingsman I wouldn’t simply imitate that (even though this film would technically take place before that and I have thought about the concept of it being used as fast paced music for fighting previous to that film) I decided to let Kingsman have their distinctive moment, which remains one of my favourite moments of modern cinema, and instead use the slower introduction part, which could be used for the journey to the prison itself, playing more on the lyrics about wanting to be free and contrasting that with James and Dave being sent into prison.
“Basket Case” by Green Day:
Wanting to use American music as much as possible, especially for the character introduction of Curtis, and a great opportunity to try and get more Punk Rock into the soundtrack, although this is technically “Nu Punk” or something I think, it’s not like The Clash which is what I consider to be actual Punk Rock, although the distinction is fairly meaningless and elitist, I decided to use this song for Curtis’ character introduction. Initially this was going to be “American Idiot” during early planning however that song didn’t yet exist at the time when this film would have been made so I had to select an earlier song and actually I think that “Basket Case” fits Curtis better anyway, so another happy accident.
“I Want To Break Free” by Queen:
You can’t have James listening to just any old rubbish so he goes out of his way to try and find some decent music while inside prison, and this was an obvious choice even if the song itself isn’t written about literally trying to break out of a prison the connection seems like something that all ages of audience could notice and enjoy, it’s important to me that not every song is some lofty, intellectual, obscure connection in order to maintain some of the light hearted fun, which is the point of having the music there in the first place. It should add something to the scene, comedy or action or whatever it might be, and hopefully all these songs add something to the scene.
“Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley:
Truly a classic of the Rock and Roll genre, you couldn’t do a list of American Rock songs and not include something by ‘The King’ so I chose to use his famous “Jailhouse Rock” to connect to the newly introduced prison riot scene, ‘Rock’ throughout the series is something of a metaphor (or perhaps that isn’t the right word, harbinger? Innuendo?) for ‘fight’ and this is made abundantly clear here. I quite liked the juxtaposition of the bouncy upbeat 50s song with the graphic violence of the fight scene and hopefully my little inclusion of a new plot element was a fitting accompaniment to this piece of American Rock legend.
“Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy:
Used as the second jailbreak song, this time specifically as they are breaking out, an upbeat song with distinctive opening, and catchy chorus, the song that I think best fits my homage to the film Vanishing Point and the closest that the CHERUB series would get to a chase movie feel. A bit on the nose but very fun and so it had to be included.
“Hotel California” by Eagles:
When you are making a list of Classic American Rock songs and setting the film’s ending in California then you really have to use “Hotel California” so I couldn’t resist. Not just because it is a classic though, the song has been said to have probably a hundred different meanings by the band and that there is no one true correct way of interpreting it, even though they always wrote songs critical of the Music industry this was written to be generally more critical of the American Dream as a whole, some may see the Hotel California, with all it’s strange goings on, as a reference to “The Overlook Hotel” which would be a connection with “The Shining” another film reference for this screenplay and a connection to Stephen King who wrote “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption” which has many different references, not just that this is about escaping prison but the use of Tim Robbins as Scott and that Jackson is reading Stephen King’s “Different Seasons” in which the short story originally appeared. However ‘the Hotel’ in California could also be the Ranch itself where they stay being literally a dangerous place where it initially seems welcoming but the intention is that James and Lauren “can never leave” as the song suggests.
“Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress)” by The Hollies:
Despite what people might think this is far from a simple nod to Jane herself, the song being used as a character introduction has some other layers in there, Jane actually being British by birth originally fits with The Hollies being a British band, they wrote the song to try to achieve an American sound, pretending to be American if you will, and of course the song itself being told from the perspective of an FBI agent working undercover meant it fit so well that it had to be used here. Furthermore it foreshadows James falling for Jane’s superficial charm, just as the character in the song, falls for the ‘Long Cool Woman’ which adds another layer to it I think.
“Enter Sandman” by Metallica:
This Classic Heavy Metal song is used for the pounding forwards momentum that is building suspense under the scene and the dark foreboding feel it can generate, this song was written to be something of a ‘dark lullaby’ hence the inclusion of the “hush little baby” line, which uses a children’s lullaby and in this song was originally intended to reference children dying, which is foreshadowing of Jane’s plan, the shots used in the film further contain references to the music video of this song.
“Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns N’ Roses:
Probably the best Rock song to use as a fight scene song, specifically the solo being one of the best guitar solos of all time, this American Classic had to be used somewhere and where better than the fight scene right at the climax of this film? The band will no doubt make more appearances throughout the remaining films.
“Morning Has Broken” by Cat Stevens:
If the use of “Enter Sandman” by Metallica is the dark lullaby then this is the opposite, the song is based on a children’s hymn and was written by a children’s author with the specific aim to make something that children would be able to use with simple structure, it was adapted by Cat Stevens into the song used here, to literally reference the dawning of a new day but also them having got through the danger and made it out the other side to safety. Rick Wakeman actually wrote and played the famous piano introduction for the song and wasn’t credited or paid for it during the original release and so I suppose we can also consider this an introduction of Rick Wakeman into the series as I’m sure he will be popping up in later films.
“Get This Party Started” by P!nk:
Just needed something contemporary and pop based and upbeat to use as a canteen song, there isn’t really anything intended to be much deeper here, this is just background filler music for the canteen and people are talking over much of it anyway. Potentially there could be some meaning there but I’m not aware of it if there is, the kids are partying, maybe that’s enough once in a while.
“Turn It On Again” by Genesis:
For the final song of this film I wanted it to be something British and a powerful optimistic Rock song, so now seemed like the perfect time to use this, of course meta-textually it references it being the end of the film and urging people to ‘turn it on again’ perhaps? But generally I just really liked this song personally, wanted to include it at some point and this is where I thought made the most sense to.

As of June 5, 2023, Bed Bath & Beyond has been making headlines due to its ongoing bankruptcy proceedings and the resulting store closing sales. However, recent reports from The Wall Street Journal suggest that the company is considering selling Buybuy Baby to the owner of Janie and Jack. Additionally, talks with Overstock.com have been rumored, though no official confirmation has been given.
Moving away from retail news, it’s worth noting that black holes are an incredibly fascinating phenomenon in space. These regions are characterized by an intense gravitational force that is so strong that not even light can escape it. Essentially, anything that enters a black hole is sucked in and cannot be seen or detected by any means.

$BBBYQ Stock Report: June 5, 2023 – Negative Earnings and Revenue Growth with $119.0M Market Capitalization

On June 5, 2023, $BBBYQ opened at 0.25 and fluctuated between a low of 0.24 and a high of 0.26. The volume for the day was 12,331,011, and the market capitalization was $119.0M. The company had negative earnings and revenue growth, and no competitor data was available. The next reporting date is June 28, 2023, with an EPS forecast of -$1.18. BBBYQ’s headquarters is in Union, New Jersey, and there were no executives to display on CNN Money.

Bed Bath & Beyond Inc ($BBBYQ) Stock Analysis: Potential Increase of 713.01% but Analysts Recommend Selling

On June 5, 2023, Bed Bath & Beyond Inc ($BBBYQ) stock closed at $0.25. According to the two analysts offering 12-month price forecasts for the company, the median target price is $2.00, with a high estimate of $2.00 and a low estimate of $2.00. This represents a potential increase of 713.01% from the last price of $0.25. The current consensus among the two polled investment analysts is to sell the stock in Bed Bath & Beyond Inc. The current quarter earnings per share for BBBYQ is -$1.18, which is a significant loss. The company’s sales for the quarter are $1.4 billion, which is a decrease from the previous quarter. The upcoming earnings report could provide more insight into the company’s financial health and future prospects. Investors should keep a close eye on BBBYQ and consider the risks before making any investment decisions.
https://beststocks.com/bed-bath-beyond-considers-selling-buybuy-baby/

Hi, delete if not allowed as we’re no longer technically pregnant. Our beautiful baby boy was born on Friday and his clamped stump has just fallen off when changing his nappy (it was dry and black, just happened sooner than we expected). However a very small bit is still in his belly button, would this be safe to remove or will it crust away on its own? TYIA

I have two cats right now that I’d like to get a tattoo of, eventually. I also have a childhood cat and a childhood dog that are now passed away but already have ideas for them.
I have nearby potrait artists, and even had an amazing portrait artist who did my pet sugar gliders on me, but I moreso want something symbolizing them, as I can’t cover myself in portraits for every pet I eventually get in life— 1) I’m 26 so that’s at least a few more pets in my lifetime and 2) I don’t have tons of room for larger tattoos like portraits.
One cat is named Miso, that’s the easier one. I just plan to get a cute little bowl of miso soup in black and white.
The other is Calliope, which is where it gets more complicated. There’s the Greek goddess (or, technically, Muse) Calliope as well as the Grey’s Anatomy character, but those would both involve something detailed enough that I might as well just get a portrait of her.
Anyone know of anything else that symbolizes the name Calliope or anything to do with it in general and could suggest a good tattoo idea?
The most I could think of is: I’ve loved Totoro since childhood, and always loved the cat bus. I could do the cat bus except with Calliope’s fur and colors/markings instead. But still think it’s a bit unfair as it’ll be bigger and more noticeable than getting a little bowl of soup for Miso— even though they’re cats and don’t give a fuck, I just feel bad I guess.
So— anything? Also, to add, the two childhood pets I plan on getting are for my cat Sweetpea (just a small, dainty sweetpea either as an arm filler or on my ribs) and my dog Brady (in 6th grade I painted him with a cape and mask because he was super dog to me, and he remained super dog until he died when I was an adult— he was unlike any dog I’ve ever met) so I want to get the painting revised, make it more symmetrical and such, and get it tattooed— to symbolize my love for him and also kind of freeze those happy moments in time.
Side note about Calliope: I don’t know if this will help with ideas or not, but Calliope is a fall equinox baby, she was born on September 21st.

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None of this is gonna make much sense if you’re not familiar with the concept of a furry, so here’s a quick summary:
A furry is an enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics, in particular a person who dresses up in costume as such a character or uses one as an avatar online.
With that out of the way, let’s get on with the story…
Last year, my boss sent me to Vegas for the CES tech conference and—inadvertently—booked me into the Bellagio the same weekend it hosted FURCATION. After checking-in, still drowsy from the 10-hour flight, I stepped onto the elevator just as two men dressed in full-body wolf costumes stepped out.
My pulse got set racing.
Despite the jetlag, I dumped my suitcase in the room, hurried back downstairs, and followed more furries into a convention hall crammed with anthropomorphic animal characters of all shapes and sizes: tall, short, ginger, grey.
Friends, for the first time in my thirty-two years on this earth, I was alive. Truly alive. I didn’t even realize I’d missed the ‘Bold Solutions for a Changing world’ keynote speech until the Bellagio staff started stacking up chairs, long after midnight.
Back home, I supressed this newly discovered part of myself. My engagement with the community remained confined to browsing fan art and the occasional Discord roleplay, all while my wife was asleep. But little by little, Andrew McCann receded into the gloom, and my fursona, Darkwind Summerpaws, stepped into the light.
To her eternal credit, my wife made every effort to accommodate this new lifestyle. But finding me—or, more specifically, Darkwind—in bed with another woman—again, a fursona—all but pushed her out the door, leaving me in the small house with a big mortgage.
At first, I sought comfort within the community. I neglected my family, my friends, and yes, even my health. Empty whiskey bottles piled up around the lounge while the written warnings piled up at work.
However, this was merely background noise. A hiss of static. Because Darkwind dogged my every step, unshakable. Unstoppable.
Yet still I felt constrained. Like a caged beast. I wanted more more more. Complete and total immersion.
Unfortunately, even my furiends couldn’t placate these inexhaustible appetites, and any complaints about their lack of furmitment fell on deaf ears. After a group member broke character mid-session by removing her mask because of a measly asthma attack, I got ousted from the group over my ‘volatile’ reaction.
This plunged me into a deep depression. Stuck without a release, I ended my engagement with the furmunity. Poor Darkwind got crammed into an old hamper and stuffed inside the attic.
Over the next six weeks, without my outlet, I became a balloon inflated to bursting point. Would this deep longing simply swell and swell until I popped?
But then, at the post office, a bulletin board flyer caught my attention. It said:
Attention all wolfkin! Are you struggling? Feeling alone? Does nobody understand your pain? Don’t fret! Join a group of like-minded individuals as we explore ways to celebrate our primal urges.
For more information, call Jacob on XXXXXX.
These folks sure sounded serious about roleplay. Finally, a place where I could unleash my true self.
Over the phone, Jacob gave me the details. Their clan gathered once a month, and wouldn’t you know it, their next meeting was scheduled for later that very same day, just before sundown. The leader passed on the location and said they couldn’t wait for “a new member to join the pack.”
Following his directions, I drove West out of town and along a dirt trail that broke from the highway,. It spat me out in a remote clearing in the middle of the forest.
Beyond the wall of trees, a grassy mound sloped upward. Pinched between the boughs there was a flickering, orange light.
A small group, twenty or so members strong, sat around a firepit on downed logs, not a fursuit in sight. My heart sunk.
There was no reason to panic, though. Not yet. Maybe, just maybe, rather than break immersion once the fun began, they gathered out of costume for refreshments? Either way, I’d travelled too far to turn back now, so I slipped off my costume, folded it into my pack, and then pushed through a nestle of ferns.
Several individuals roasted marshmallows while others conversed in groups of two or three. One man even strummed a soulful rendition of Moonage Daydream on an acoustic guitar.
“Andrew, I presume?” said a deep voice from behind me.
The first thing I noticed about Jacob was his immense height; he stood nearly seven feet tall, and thicker than a barge pole. “We spoke on the phone.” My hand looked like a child’s encased within his, and that powerful grip was tighter like vice.
“You’ve arrived just in time, we’re about to get started.” He guided me forward by placing a hand against the small of my back. “So, is this your first time?”
“Oh no, I’ve been to tons of these things.”
Those green eyes cut a quizzical glance in my direction. “Really? What clans?”
Clan? Did he mean convention? “Well, there was DragonCon over the summer. And last month I flew down to Furry Fiesta.”
“I’ve never heard of—”
An approaching elderly lady said, “Sorry to interrupt Jacob, but we should really get started.” She jabbed a thumb at the sky, barely visible above the canopy. The chief acknowledged her with a nod.
“Glad to have you with us,” he said to me, and then went and stood before the campfire.
“Good evening, everyone,” he said, drowning out the gentle murmur.
A chorus of, “Good evening, Jacob,” went up.
“I hope everybody’s doing well. I’m delighted to see such a great turn out tonight. Now before we get started, I have a couple of announcements. First, congratulations to Paul”—he gestured at a red-haired man in a denim jacket—“and his wife Donna on the birth of their first child, Damian.”
The group applauded as the new father received several hearty pats on the back.
Once the fanfare tapered off, Jacob added, “Paul told me the new baby has been a blessing…paternity leave means he’s been able to sneak in a few long sessions on the PlayStation while Donna does all the work.”
He waited until the chuckles died off. “And secondly, can everyone please give a warm welcome to Andrew.” He nodded in my direction. “Tonight’s Andrew’s first time with the clan, so I want to see plenty of butt sniffing.”
I laughed, realized nobody else joined in, and then cleared my throat and stared at the ground.
“So let’s make sure—”
“It’s starting.” The elderly lady interrupted, pointing at the sky. High above us, the full moon drifted out from behind a wisp of cloud.
Jacob said, “Here we go everyone, get ready.”
Around me, belts were unhitched, shirts unbuttoned. Finally! Delighted we could now change into our fursuits, I grabbed mine from my pack, stepped into the leg holes, and shimmied it up past my ankles, over the shoulders.
As I hopped around on one foot, negoating the suit on, Jacob shouted, “Andrew, what the hell are you doing? You’re gonna tear right through that thing.”
I paused and looked up.
Bare flesh surrounded me on all sides; large and thin, male and female. Everybody was naked except me.
Before I could ask what was going on, all that exposed skin got illuminated by a stray beam of moonlight that pierced the canopy, bright and shining.
Jacob coughed harshly, a desperate growl, while others snarled. Beside me, the elderly lady contorted her limbs, her head jerking from side to side. She moved in an awkward, staggered manner, almost despite herself. Was this a stroke?
Her neck arced forward, her top half bending at an extreme angle until she dropped onto all fours. Her chest and arms expanded rapidly as coarse, grey hairs grew all over her body. Her ribcage got teased to breaking point, her face now hideously elongated, capped by a long snout. Bones cracked in her hands as the nails shot out and became long, curved claws, same with her feet.
Paralyzed by fear, I could only look on, my feet rooted to the tangled ground. Snarls and barks went up around me. I ripped my eyes away from the lady and saw more limbs swell while knotted hairs engulfed every inch of skin. Mouths snapped open and closed, each now crammed with razor-sharp teeth.
My heart pounded so violently it almost made me pass out.
At last, the beast that had been a lady moments earlier threw its head back and howled. That lone voice soon became a symphony. Then, one by one, the creature’s turned their attention towards me. The only human within in the vicinity.
With my wolf mask tucked under my arm, I backstepped on unsteady legs, my free hand raised in a submissive gesture. Nice and slow, no sudden movements or startling noises. Countless wildlife documentaries taught me that’s how you survived those deadly encounters.
Out of nowhere, a black furred wolf snarled, which made David Attenborough’s calm voice completely melt out of my head. I spun on my heels and bolted off into the forest.
Low, criss-crossed branches sliced my legs and arms as I barrelled along, all but blind. In the narrow gaps between skeletal trunks, bestial blurs cut through the shadows, appearing and disappearing amidst the thick undergrowth.
Just as I reached the slope, half-running half-falling, a cavernous mouth filled with sharp teeth burst from the gloom, on a collision course with my throat.
Without meaning to, I stepped into the loop of an exposed tree root, bent my right leg at a painful angle, and performed an unplanned somersault.
As my back collided with the ground, hard, all air fled my lungs. The head of my fursuit fell alongside me.
A ferocious werewolf whizzed by overhead, snapping at my skull on its way past, and then collided with another that had mounted a surprise attack from behind.
Still dazed, I stagged to my feet while the two beasts righted themselves and then growled at one another, fangs beared.
Blood dripped from a deep cut beneath my chin and a labyrinth of gashes along my forearms. It was like ringing the dinner bell. Soon bright eyes emerged from the gloom and surrounded me on every side.
Werewolves circled my position, drawing closer with every rotation, gradually strangling any hope of escape until I had only a few metres of space to move around in. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
But then a roar cut through the forest, so low and so resonate that the ground itself shook. Those other werewolves lowered their heads, their ears pinned back.
Silhouetted against the moonlight, a single wolf—almost double the height of the rest with intense green eyes—stepped forward. Unlike the others, this one carried itself with unquestionable authority.
I choked out a feeble, “Jacob?”
Six slow strides brought the leader so close that its repulsive carrion breaths blasted my face in hot waves. Thick, white foam dripped from blackened gums, getting gobbled up by the dry, hungry dirt. Whichever direction I looked more wolves stood ready to feast on my grizzled remains, to do battle over the leftovers. This was the end.
But there, by my feet, lay the wolf mask. Out of nowhere a strange calm filled my veins. My inhales became steady. Controlled. And suddenly I knew what I needed to do.
With my free hand facing outward, I reached forward and picked up the mask. Although Jacob growled, he did not attack. Not yet.
In one smooth motion, I slipped the wolf head on. Goodbye Andrew McCann, hello Darkwind Summerpaws.
Jacob’s jaw opened and his back arched up, ready to pounce. Before the attack came, however, I growled. It sounded raw and visceral, issued from a place deep inside me. A place I didn’t even realize existed.
My aggressor and I stood nose to nose, face to face, man to man. No, scratch that last one—wolf to wolf.
Jacob hesitated. As I snarled again, tendons in my jaw creaked. I dropped onto all fours and pressed my shoulder blades together as though pinching an apple between them. For good measure, I even belted out another growl, so fierce my vocal cords became vibrating guitar strings tuned too far.
At first, Jacob only stared. Then, slowly, his head lowered, and he fell into line with the group, whimpering.
For a moment, the wolves only stared. Guided by pure instinct, I threw my head back and howled. Jacob followed, then the others, and within seconds the pack sang in perfect harmony. Afterwards, they all looked on, awaiting my next move.
In a playful manner, I rolled onto my back and kicked both legs in the air. Straight away the group rushed forward to lick my face and sniff my crotch, the tension now gone.
Back at the campsite, some wolves slept, others ate, and several fornicated. It wasn’t entirely dissimilar to the after-parties at a regular convention. And once the festivities ended and the group became exhausted, we curled up by the fire and slept in one giant mound.
I woke surrounded by a ring of human flesh, the sun creeping over the horizon. I sat up and ripped off my mask.
Jacob stepped forward, crouched low, and then offered me his hand.
He hauled me up by the arm, turned to face the group, and said, “Three cheers for Andrew, the new leader of the clan!”
The guild whooped and cheered and punched the air. Two burly men, still bollock naked, even grabbed me by the waist and hoisted me up onto their shoulders for a victory lap.
And at that moment, as I basked in their adulation, I knew my life had changed forever. I no longer needed to squander my wages flying to conventions and commissioning personalized fan art in a futile attempt to satisfy my desires. That was a world I could leave behind. Forever.
But don’t fret my friends. Because my journey into furdom wasn’t coming to an end. Oh no.
It was just getting started…

Feeling disheartened and I need a push to advocate for myself... and the hive mind of reddit to assure me I'm on the right track 🤍
Hey redditors,
Bear with my long message please. I have posted something similar I'm the endometriosis group because I'm so... unsure. I am quite anxious and I just need some support....
I'll try to make it short but ultimately a doctor I saw recently immediately told me I most likely have chrones and sent me to get all these tests done but after completing most of them I have doubts and I think I should be seeing a specialist focused more on endo or adeno? She didn't even let me finish giving my history or symptoms before she decided on a gastro specialist and ended our session. She was so rushed and behind schedule... I feel so disheartened. I'll talk about symptoms and then explain the tests.
Since I was adolescent I've had horribly, excruciating periods that were unmanageable to the point I was curled in a ball for a day or 2 every month and extremely heavy bleeding. This always came with upset stomach as well. They're extremely irregular and I was never able to track periods.
In my early 20s I saw a Dr that diagnosed me with IBS and GERDs because I constantly struggle with bloat, switching between stool types, reflux, and stomach spasm...
Well I had a baby. Afterwards I got an IUD and my period problems have been over! This is where I'm confused. I know for a fact that my previous suffering was extremely abnormal. My stomach problems have gotten much much worse, however. I've been stalking the chrones and colitis forum but I don't think my pain levels relates nearly as much... yes im I'm pain and I get spasms but not shitting blood and I'm not laid out. Just miserable but still functioning.
So I am wondering if you guys think I could even possibly have Chrones or its maybe endometriosis and that the IUD solved the period issues but maybe the stomach problems is a sign it's spreading to the bowel? I am very ignorant and I have seen many specialists and don't feel like im getting the support or information I need and I just want to learn how to advocate to get some help. Please advise me...
I had a calpro test and my levels were fine. Blood tests and gene tests were perfect. Stomach x-rays were fine.
Weirdly enough I was positive for a travelers parasite but my Gastro said that is common and doesn't want to treat it yet/isn't worried about it as he says it can be a sign of a bigger thing somewhere...
I did tests for certain foods that make me sick and apparently NO allergies to onions, garlic, gluten, dairy.... but I can NOT eat any kinds of peppers, onions, garlic, beans, fatty meat, more than a few bites of fruit, or aged soft cheese without dying for a day or 2... but it seems to cycle every month and I think it gets worse when I'm having period time.. hard to tell with the IUD as I don't have one every month.
I dunno what the hell is wrong with me. I'm just trying to start again. Please help me if you have any insight.
I haven't had a colonoscopy or ultrasound or anything else yet and I'm so anxious. I am not living in my home country and I think my language skills weren't strong enough to advocate for my needs before since I never even got to explain all my symptoms before the Dr decided and sent me away to a gastro specialist (Maybe not the specialist I should see??).
I just need to know if you guys think I should try to get an endo specialist as I'm suffering constantly but I need to make sure I know EXACTLY what I want for myself so I don't lose my voice again and keep getting sent down the wrong rabbithole.
Currently finding a general practitioner that speaks English so that I can better advocate for myself since I've moved countries.... and will have to restart the gastro search if I am referred again for more tests as he isn't in the correct sector for my insurance.
Thank you so much if you've made it this far.

Hey redditors,
Bear with my long message please. I am quite anxious and I just need some support.... I'll try to make it short but ultimately a doctor I saw recently immediately told me I most likely have chrones and sent me to get all these tests done but after completing most of them I have doubts and I think I should be seeing a specialist focused more on endo or adeno? She didn't even let me finish giving my history or symptoms before she decided on a gastro specialist and ended our session. She was so rushed and behind schedule... I feel so disheartened. I'll talk about symptoms and then explain the tests.
Since I was adolescent I've had horribly, excruciating periods that were unmanageable to the point I was curled in a ball for a day or 2 every month and extremely heavy bleeding. This always came with upset stomach as well. They're extremely irregular and I was never able to track periods.
In my early 20s I saw a Dr that diagnosed me with IBS and GERDs because I constantly struggle with bloat, switching between stool types, reflux, and stomach spasm...
Well I had a baby. Afterwards I got an IUD and my period problems have been over! This is where I'm confused. I know for a fact that my previous suffering was extremely abnormal. My stomach problems have gotten much much worse. I've been stalking the chrones and colitis forum but I don't think my pain levels relates to those people so I am wondering if you guys think I do in fact have endometriosis and that the IUD solved the period issues but maybe the stomach problems is a sign it's spreading to the bowel? I am very ignorant and I have seen many specialists and don't feel like im getting the support or information I need and I just want to learn how to advocate to get some help. Please advise me...
I had a calpro test and my levels were fine. Blood tests and gene tests were perfect. Stomach x-rays were fine.
Weirdly enough I was positive for a travelers parasite but my Gastro said that is common and doesn't want to treat it yet/isn't worried about it as he says it can be a sign of a bigger thing somewhere...
I haven't had a colonoscopy or ultrasound or anything else yet and I'm so anxious. I am not living in my home country and I think my language skills weren't strong enough to advocate for my needs before since I never even got to explain all my symptoms before the Dr decided and sent me away to a gastro specialist (Maybe not the specialist I should see??).
I just need to know if you guys think I should try to get an endo specialist as I'm suffering constantly but I need to make sure I know EXACTLY what I want for myself so I don't lose my voice again and keep getting sent down the wrong rabbithole. I seem to not relate to all the pain and blood levels on the chrones reddit but maybe more to the endo on bowels? Idk, I am looking forward to hearing what you guys think.
Currently finding a general practitioner that speaks English so that I can better advocate for myself since I've moved countries.... and will have to restart the gastro search if I am referred again for more tests as he isn't in the correct sector for my insurance.
Thank you so much if you've made it this far.
*editing to add:
I did tests for certain foods that make me sick and apparently NO allergies to onions, garlic, gluten, dairy.... but I can NOT eat any kinds of peppers, onions, garlic, beans, fatty meat, more than a few bites of fruit, or aged soft cheese without dying for a day or 2... but it seems to cycle every month and I think it gets worse when I'm having period time.. hard to tell with the IUD as I don't have one every month.
I dunno what the hell is wrong with me. I'm just trying to start again. Please help me if you have any insight.

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822

★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616

⎯

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300

★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629

★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326

★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233

⎯

★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840

★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784

★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759

⎯

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751

⎯

★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156

★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544

★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318

⎯

★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287

⎯

★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461

★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436

★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353

★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212

★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363

★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269

★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192

★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227

⎯

★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214

★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192

★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105

⎯

★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216

★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198

★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228

★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201

★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108

★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105

★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99

★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85

⎯

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375

⎯

★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137

★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608

★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75

⎯

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359

★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77

★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48

⎯

★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733

★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292

⎯

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212

★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160

★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101

⎯

★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59

⎯

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72

⎯

AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55

⎯

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623

Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54

⎯

M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55

⎯

M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465

M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55

M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50

⎯

USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139

⎯

AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234

P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147

Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

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I know, I know - its Apple, not Tesla! Hear me out though:
Anyone who has sat in a chair, having to twist their neck sligthly for extended period of times will know that it will strain you tremendously. I always thought the idea of a infotainment system in a self-driving vehicle is an absolute no-brainer - just look at overseas planes!
However, the Tesla implementation isnt perfect. Everyone in the vehichle has to twist their bodies in order to view the screen properly, something that would be very uncomfortable to do for many hours at a time. I always found it to be the best possible solution in the limits of the space, but not a very good one for the long term.One could add that the passengers could just use their own Ipads, laptops, etc., which is certainly true - but that is NOT Teslas infortainment system and therefor no opportunity for revenue.
With Apple's VisionPro I actually think that the "dream" or idea of Tesla gaining money off the infotainment system will be officially dead (if they pull it off). It massively expands the usage and capability of the car, allowing for tremendous amount of compute (so no reliance on the cars hardware) and delivers a far supporior entertainment experience than that off a "small" screen.
I think anyone who has used current-gen VR has a good idea of where this stuff could go - and the Apple VisionPro looks absolutely insane on all specs. All you would need is to plug it into power in the car.
Imagine, freaking cars driving themselves around with people wearing VRs and just watching movies / working / playing games / etc. This is some straight up Black Mirror / Wall-E stuff coming our way.
The good news is that this will be *the* way to travel in the future and will be 100% reliant on the completion of a type of FSD - which I firmly believe Tesla will deliver before anyone else.
Imagine, sitting in your car - its freaking traffic jam.. you look to your left and there is a Tesla, whole family, all just chilling with their headsets on, having fun / working .. and there you are, steering your Honda Civic like you're living in the stone age. And its the year 2031.The pull factor will be insane for this type of combination of products.
Anyways, moonshot idea kind of thing - but I do not believe Tesla will be able to pull much from the infotainment system if this does actually become a thing - which it seems it will. Only factor would be if you can off-load compute to the PC hardware of the car, but I would assume Apple locks that down to be only with Apple Products. Tesla will still make bank off of FSD, but the Tesla Car will not be an App device like the Apple Store if this comes to fluition - just my 2 cents.
Would love to hear your opinions, cause this is freaking cool. VR may finally be entering mainstream and should be factored into how it would interplay with FSD.
Edit: I see a lot of people claiming motion sickness and thereby abandoning the idea. Remember that the VisionPro has a 4K "seethrough" viewing experience, meaning motion in VR will align with motion in R. This should completely remove the motion sickness you would feel while playing games, working, etc. in VR we know today. Too many are throwing the baby out with the bath water in here imo. Something to consider, at least.

I have a lot of "baby hair" that I always need to get too cuz I'm having white ones in between, so I end up having black spots everywhere on my ears, forehead etc., from the dye. How can I avoid that please? I tried everything and I'm always dreading dying my hair cuz of it but can't afford a monthly visit to the hairsalon.... I wish

I'm a 24 year old Latino in Burbank, California with dreams of becoming a rapper. I have Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder. I'm looking for fellow rappers that want to make it big in the business, who can push me to be great. Mentors of any kind would be appreciated. As recency goes, being the Oliver-El Khatib/Noah "40" Shebib/Lil Wayne to my Drake, the Terrence "Punch" Henderson/Dr.Dre/Ab-Soul/Schoolboy Q/ Jay Rock to my Kendrick Lamar, and the Jay-Z to my J Cole, etc. Potentially forming a group like Black Hippy (substance, passion, depth, etc.) would be dope. Rappers who balance lyricism with mainstream appeal/hits (think Jay-Z, Kanye, Drake, Eminem, J Cole, Lil Wayne, Biggie, 2Pac, Kendrick, Nicki, Lil Baby, etc.) with a primary focus on lyricism and songwriting would be amazing. Let's support each other and chase our dreams! Thanks!

I'm a 24 year old Latino in Burbank, California with dreams of becoming a rapper. I have Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder. I'm looking for fellow rappers that want to make it big in the business, who can push me to be great. Mentors of any kind would be appreciated. As recency goes, being the Oliver-El Khatib/Noah "40" Shebib/Lil Wayne to my Drake, the Terrence "Punch" Henderson/Dr.Dre/Ab-Soul/Schoolboy Q/ Jay Rock to my Kendrick Lamar, and the Jay-Z to my J Cole, etc. Potentially forming a group like Black Hippy (substance, passion, depth, etc.) would be dope. Rappers who balance lyricism with mainstream appeal/hits (think Jay-Z, Kanye, Drake, Eminem, J Cole, Lil Wayne, Biggie, 2Pac, Kendrick, Nicki, Lil Baby, etc.) with a primary focus on lyricism and songwriting would be amazing. Let's support each other and chase our dreams! Thanks!

I'm a 24 year old Latino in Burbank, California with dreams of becoming a rapper. I have Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder. I'm looking for fellow rappers that want to make it big in the business, who can push me to be great. Mentors of any kind would be appreciated. As recency goes, being the Oliver-El Khatib/Noah "40" Shebib/Lil Wayne to my Drake, the Terrence "Punch" Henderson/Dr.Dre/Ab-Soul/Schoolboy Q/ Jay Rock to my Kendrick Lamar, and the Jay-Z to my J Cole, etc. Potentially forming a group like Black Hippy (substance, passion, depth, etc.) would be dope. Rappers who balance lyricism with mainstream appeal/hits (think Jay-Z, Kanye, Drake, Eminem, J Cole, Lil Wayne, Biggie, 2Pac, Kendrick, Nicki, Lil Baby, etc.) with a primary focus on lyricism and songwriting would be amazing. Let's support each other and chase our dreams! Thanks!