Never ricking morty explained

I accidentally let the truth slip last night, that I don't know if I've ever cum before during sex. There are moments where I think I am going to, and it feels great, but I don't know if it's actually what cumming feels like. I've used a vibrater plenty of times and it feels great too, but I still don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be feeling.
Well, I've never told a soul this before. Usually I tell my bf that I'm cumming when it feels the best, and I want him to feel good about himself. Last night, though, he asked me if I faked it earlier. And instead of pulling out any other line like "of course I did," I told him the truth. It just stumbled out of me with no forethought, and now I'm an a-hole to him for lying all this time and he's mad.
Of course, he thinks its his fault. I can't explain that I've been with other guys and have never known with anyone because he'll get jealous and more mad that I've had any kind of past, and probably say something mean like "well I've cum with everyone" (I know him and the things he'll probably say. In the moment, he can be a bit petty).
So I'm just stuck in limbo at the moment, a boyfriend mad at me for a body I can't control. I know he views it as lying when I say im going to, and now thinks these past 2 years have been a lie, but I don't think it's a total lie. Sex with him feels amazing, I just don't know. No matter the size or methods, I just don't know. I tried to explain that I think I'm cumming so I say it, but I never really know. Still, he's mad, and I don't know what to do.
What would you do to resolve this?

For the past 5 years, (Since the 2017 New York Times article) the narrative has been:

• ~There are things in our skies that we can't explain with our understanding of the laws of physics.~ Obama, Lue Elizondo,
• ~We need to eliminate stigma and set up proper channels for our pilots to report UFOs. This is a flight safety issue~ Ryan Graves
• ~The US government has been investigating UFOs in an official capacity for years.~ NYT

This lead to several major milestones like the first congressional hearings on UFOs in 50 years, the establishment of AARO and others, whistleblower protection for those with knowledge of UFO retrieval programs, and more. These are all significant steps forward in disclosure.
The narrative has now changed.
Now, David Grusch is taking the conversation 5 steps forward. We are now plainly talking about the US being in possession of non-human craft and non-human bodies. Not innuendo, metaphors, beating around the bush, or sly-face jokes. This is straight-up saying that the US has crashed UFOs in their possession and "alien" bodies.
This was never even a talking point at a high level in main stream media or in government. We are now stepping into that territory. This is significant.
This is not proof.
This is not evidence.
This is not disclosure.
But, this is a big step forward in leading the official investigation through proper channels towards what most of us suspect to be true.
My interpretation in all this is there are parts of the government and military contractors who want to keep this secret, and other parts that want the truth. David is giving them a credible lead to go knocking on the right doors. David's credentials and reputation do matter in this context, especially without proof or evidence.
We're heading in the right direction. But don't expect most people to take this as "proof" or "evidence" that aliens or UFOs exist, because that's not what this is.
It's a change in narrative, and intel for official investigation.

Players will wake up after drifting through darkness midway through what seems like a class lecture. The class will be filled with Sheikah with the instructor at the front beginning the conversation with "Any questions?"

• Questions like "Where are we?" or "What are we here for?" will receive a dismissive answer about how they've pledged their loyalty to the Royal Family to protect the nation of Hyrule, and so they have to receive their training to do so. Particularly it will be mentioned that their support is needed to take care of a threat to their people.
  • Questions about that will be met with more dismissive conjecture, concerns about hitting their head on something, and vaguely referencing the threat as "people to the East who threaten our way of life" and that more will be explained after they can prove themselves as Sheikah ninja.
• The instructor will be Hadar, questions about who he is will be answered as such. He won't delve too much into his personal history but he'll let the players know that he's been tasked to train new Sheikah recruits to take care of the coming threat to his people.
• Anything largely out of character, like threats or disruption, will be glossed over as if players had replied in the affirmative or he'll give a rhetorical answer to a question they never asked.
  • If the players attack Hadar or anyone else he and all the other Sheikah recruits fade away into wispy smoke. This summons a Haunt in the next room.

After the classroom scene players will be guided to the next room to pick up their equipment.
NOTES: Play up the weirdness about the whole affair, like how the players feel like they're in a dream or fugue and how traveling feels unnatural to them, like they're arriving at their next destination instead of actively moving there.
Players then get access to any of the equipment they had bought from the equipment room.

• If the players attacked Hadar, a Disembodied Voices Haunt will be present in this room. The Disembodied Voices will whisper about how they never should have done what they did, about how those people didn't deserve what happened to them and about how they can't live with themselves.

The players will enter a room with other Sheikah ninja and told that they're going to begin sparring as part of their training. After they begin their cognition will change and what were once Sheikah ninja will now be 4 Zombie Shamblers with Hadar insisting that they these are the types of threats that they need to face and what they're protecting Hyrule against. The battle will go as normal (award 80 XP). After the battle they will hear Hadar speak again and their cognition will shift again to normal. On the ground will be some beaten but very much alive Sheikah ninja. Hadar will then inform the players that their training isn't over and to be proper Sheikah ninja they'll need to learn how to infiltrate and navigate traps. He will then lead them to the next section which includes a labyrinth.
The labyrinth will include the following traps and encounters:

• Mirror Door (6 XP)
• Shuffling Hall (6 XP)
  • The Shuffling Hall will dump the players into a pit. The bottom of the pit will be soft, but they land on the bodies of rotting Sheikah ninja recruits. They need to make a DC 12 Fort save or be Sickened 1 for an hour.
    • Players will hear something in the next room. If they try to reduce their Sickened value by retching in the pit they get one shot to do it without being heard. If they go for it twice whatever is in the next room begins combat.
  • The room will open up to a combat encounter with 2 Severed Heads (Bubbles) and 2 Crawling Hands (Mini Floormaster). Give the Severed Heads the "Whispering" variant but apply it on Strikes it makes.
  • In the center of the room will be grasping hands that come out of the ground to hold the players (Blood Soaked Soil).
  • Award 86 XP for the entire encounter.

As a born in, in my younger years, I had nightmares about demons. One was a pig man who hovered over me with it’s face close to mine and it haunted my nights and caused me to scream out often.
As I grew older I was dreaming about shame. Dirty toilets, no private stalls, holding in my pee just to find a clean, private place to pee. Never could find one.
As an exjw, I dream of many frightening things but being ignored by family and vilified, as I try to explain that I am a good person and they are wrong about my intentions, if one of them. I tell them that I have a good heart but I am rejected. I dream of other bothersome things too… destruction, death … just vivid and awful things.
I’m trying to focus on positive vibes throughout the day and it’s helped to develop a more healthy mindset but going to sleep is always a crap shoot. 99% nightmares. 1% peace.
Recently I tried medication to combat the nightmares (it’s for ptsd) but I can’t take it as I felt like my blood pressure dropped so low I almost died. It was a mentally dulling medicine. Felt like a zombie. I am going to eventually do EMDR sessions but that is $250/hour so I need to wait until I can save up money for 10 sessions.
Anyway… what’s your experience in dreams/nightmares?

Read this post earlier, https://www.reddit.com/BPDlovedones/comments/141cs1v/i_cannot_be_the_only_one_who_finds_the_concept_of/ , and I thought I'd go through how my wife (uBPD) selects her "favorite person." I've watched the same pattern emerge time-and-time again, and I think she's got it done to an almost HR science.
Step 1 - The declaration. We've been married for 15 years (which is another theme that seems to be very common in this subreddit). I work. I pay the bills. I do the laundry, the bulk of the housekeeping and household purchases. We've got two kids and a dog. I get tired. I've been tired. There's not much time or energy for partying like the teenager she still believes herself to be - and hopes to be again if it weren't for those darn kids that she wanted so much. I digress.
The declaration is made, "I am bored." This signals the beginning of a search online for the next kink, fetish, or any other interest that gets her piqued (her fancy will be tickled later, but that's another adventure on the riverbank). Once she's chosen her newest theme, on to step 2.
Step 2 - The on-stage entrance. She will join every forum, site, chat group, etc., that pertains to her new theme. She will make it known in her profile, that she's female and available. The trawling net is cast. The thirsty boys quickly start commenting on her posts, and, of course, make their availability known. She will go through their profiles and conduct an almost FBI-like profile of each of them to narrow down her list of potentials (by region, by attraction, etc.). Once her target acquisition radar has locked on to one future-ex-lover, she will move on to step 3.
Step 3 - The mirroring process. She will then seek out all characteristics of the target - preferences in music, food, art, spiritual beliefs, literature, movies, fashion, makeup, interests, hobbies...anything that she can glean from her investigation. She will then adapt herself in kind. Listen to the same music, study the same art or literature, purchase new clothes, change her hair style or color, eat the same foods, watch the same movies. Now she's ready for step 4.
Step 4 - The Initial Hook-Up. This is, apparently, the most exciting time for her as she holds both the role of the interviewer and interviewee. She got the above cultural aspects mirrored as best she can, she's managed to avoid mentioning or giving any signs away that she's married with kids, and now there's going to be fireworks! She will either go to them, or they will come to her. All she needs is...
The EnableFamiliar - a little aside. My wife has always had enablers, including her own mother - who was opposed to our marriage from the outset - and her best friend, or a familiar who I never know personally enough to contact, but is, well, familiar enough, to make her excuse for going out/away plausible enough.
The initial hook-up will involve a dinner, walk in the park, even something as banal as meeting at a salon where she's getting her hair or nails done. If all goes well, it's sex in a hotel, in the park, what have you. That's hook #1 implanted in the favorite person. On to step 5.
Step 5 - The Admission. Now comes the tricky part, admitting that she's married with kids. This is done by, of course, explaining that, as all married cheaters say, "I got married too young and for the wrong reasons. I was trapped into having kids." Instead of running away immediately, the sex has insured that the favorite person will now don the silver armor and become a white knight. The gauntlet has been thrown down and the fair maiden must be rescued from the evil dragon (plus, the sex). Step 6 is not of her design, but mine.
Step 6 - The Cock-Block. By the time I'm aware enough of everything, happens when your own radar is running 24-7, I will start to reinforce boundaries. That, of course, makes the already evil dragon controlling and abusive. Her actions are challenged, her tone commented upon, her attempts at going out challenged. This always leads to a crying session, usually post-midnight, followed up with selfies of her blubbering. This, of course, results in further white-knighting and the pay-off! Promises to take her away from all her suffering.
Step 7 - The Attempt to Solidify...and the Downfall. Here's where the whole thing falls apart. The guy wants so badly to "rescue" her but that means taking on not just her, but the kids and the dog. This means taking responsibility for a family that is not his. Where I am, his parents would never accept their son marrying a divorced woman with two kids, especially whose relationship was founded upon, and based upon, cheating. Furthermore, other than unbridled sex, she brings absolutely nothing to the table.
Step 8 - Rinse and repeat.

This is a sequel to my first post about predictions to The final battles and now this is the manga ending in my opinion, i would like to see your opinions about it:
Chapter 407 (Aftermath): The War is over, The heroes win, Shigaraki dies by Deku's hand and everyone is happy to the Victory, we see Spinner and Toga being arrested along Gashly, Kunieda, Gigantomachia and other random villains, Dabi is rescued fast to Central Hospital along the heroes and some civilian like Todoroki family, he is hospitalized along Endeavor and his family and when he's able to talk, he still keep saying shit about everyone dies, Shoto talk his hand and say they need to talk, one last time, Dabi can't see him, but send Shoto to hell, Shoto explain he still need to do many things in life before goes to hell, Endeavor cries seeing everything he did, Deku is still passed out but Inko and All Might are there, Inko crying seeing Deku doesn't have his left arm anymore but All Might calms her down talking he can feel Deku in OFA, and he cries too, feeling it's the Last time, we see the recovering of some heroes like Bakugou, Ochaco, Jirou, Tokoyami, Sero, Hawks etc with a Shoto's monoluogue to Toya, talking about mistakes, flaws, Redemption and second chances, Dabi smile talking he won't see this shit happening with him because of Endeavor and his family, Endeavor understand that.
Chapter 408 (The greatest hero): Bakugou amputated his right arm destroyed by Shigaraki, lost his right eye and needs Recovery Girl to Kiss his left arm, like Deku, he want to see him, but this time, Ochaco was there, to help him to reach Deku, and besides Shoto, most of 1A are Waiting for Bakugou outside of Deku's room, happy to see him, Bakugou smile to everyone and see Inko and All Might inside of Deku's room, and say they might wait, the News are everywhere saying about Deku Saving the world from Shigaraki and the others Victory like Bakugou and All Might, Sero team, Ochaco against Toga, Shoto and his family against Dabi and S1 reporter is outside of hospital Waiting to see Deku, happy, with Nagant on hospital again happy hearing about Deku, Gentle and La Brava are Waiting for him along Tsukaichi and The American soldiers, Deku wakes up.
Chapter 409 (The Greatest Heroes): Inko and All Might cries and hug Deku while Ochaco opens the door and most of 1A hugs Deku and are happy to see him, Deku cries seeing everyone alive, specially Bakugou, that the Last time he saw him, he was dead, Bakugou mocks him and say there are more people wanting to see him, but Deku smile to them and say he needs to rest for now before everything, All Might want to talk with him, but Ochaco touches Deku's arm and say to All Might he needs to rest for now, All Might understand that, we see more of pro heroes Recovering, with Big 3 happy because they can have their cerimony, Hawks tells the News to Gran Torino and Spinner wakes up along Toga in a prision, Spinner cries for Shigaraki and Dabi' death, but Toga is quiet, saying they lost and maybe, they deserved that, Spinner doesn't understand that, but he looks to Toga, and she's crying too, Oboro is watching everything and disappear in a void, he needs to talk with them later.
Chapter 410 (Farewell, One for All): Some weeks has passed, Dabi died due his injuries, Nagant had her sentence decreased by Deku, she's in a wheelchair and is happy to see him along Hawks, Endeavor give his house and most of his money to Rei and his children and start to live alone, we see him smiling for them, Deku and the future and watches the sky, thinking in Toya, we see Oboro talking with Aisawa and Mic, and saying goodbye to them, because his purpose as hero and villain has ended, he dies with Aisawa and Mic happy for his friend finally dies as True hero, Deku and All Might are in Tenko's grave, along Shimura and Nana' graves, Deku say he's weaker now, he can't feel the extra quirks anymore and his Strenght is pretty similar to Season 1 All Might, All Might say he used everything he had in his fight and is happy to see him alive, they hug themselves and wee see The vestiges realm disappearing, with the vestiges smiling to them and fading away, we see some heroes helping people from past wars and helping to build Japan again, with Deku and 1A, now 2A, helping too. We see more of a rebuilded Japan and a New UA, with people taking photos of The greatest heroes, specially Deku, and he's embarassed for not being used with that, Ochaco takes his hand and Bakugou calls for them to not be late to a New year in UA.
Chapter 411 (My Hero): 10 years in the future, Iida running towards Japan helping everyone he can, Momo replacing Aisawa at 1A teacher, Kendo and Tetsu working together, Rei, Natsu and Fuyumi living together while Enji visits Toya's grave alone, which we can see Oboro' graves too, but Hawks, now quirkless appear to him, Shoto going to visit his children fans with a smile, finally being able to show his emotions, Aisawa with past UA teachers watching their past students becoming great heroes with a pride face, Ochaco visiting Toga at prision, with both being happy to see each other, Bakugou fighting villains but also helping Civilain and teeling to people how he loses his eye, arms and got his scars on half of his body, showing now he finally became a decent human being and can share his victories, Mineta finally respect women and being friendly with Tsuyu, that make some joke about this New version of Mineta, Shinso opening his agency with a proud face, The Big 3 working together, Kirishima and Mina now married going to visit Gigantomachia, because now they're adults and move on from their past fears and without AFO and Shigaraki, Machia is alone. Jirou and Kaminari as a couple helping The Civilain but still being a funny couple, Tokoyami in The Sky with Dark Shadow in The night, pretty batman be like, Shoji, Koda and Spinner now leads a peaceful movement to show The Power and importance of mutant people on Society, Spinner still suffer for AFO's quirks, but Shoji support him now. Overhaul still arrested and never be able to visits his father, Eri and Kota studying to be UA students and having Deku's gagdets that give them luck, Eri also Has Mirio's. Lady Nagant, now in wheelchairs, leads Deku's agency along Gentle and La Brava that still make his videos but now with Nagant and with Deku as main theme of their videos, Stain still being a wanted person, but not killing anyone, because a New of greatest heroes is Alive. We see a bunch of fast future of another characters. Inko is with Bakugou parent happy showing their children's conqueer, Old All Might watches The Sky and crie with a smile on his face, and finally in The end, we see Deku, talking with Someone like him but older and Black hair, it's Hisashi Midoriya, his father, he's telling the end of his fight against Shigaraki and Hisashi is proud of his son and apologizes for not being able to be with him, Deku understand him, but now, they can talk later when he ends upa another mission, Deku jumps and arrives in another country, Saving people from a villain, pretty like All Might's videos he watched as kid, and now Deku is the greatest hero and smile to us, ending The story, finally saying he's here.
This is the end, i really liked in my opinion, do you? What would you change? Ending in chapter 411 means the manga ends on volume 40.

My bf 22M of 5 months was sexting other people on a parallel snapchat account and also sending photos of me 21F.
My bf 22M of 5 months was sexting other people on a parrallel snapchat account and also sending photos of me 21F. I found this out when I was just looking on his phone which we both do and noticed it said parrallel snapchat and asked him what it was not thing anything of it I clicked on it and noticed that he had been talking and snapping people ive never heard of before in the last couple of hours. At first he tried to take his phone back but i pulled back and notice he had a worried look on his face.
So i clicked on a couple of chats I noticed they were all just him sexting people and him sending snaps and them sending some as well. He was just looking at me when I was reading them and saying he was sorry and just got interested in looking up his old parrallel snapchat because he was listening to a podcast where they were talking about it. He said he only starting snapping people today which I could see is true because his last chats where months ago.
After asking why he was sending them he said he know it was wrong but it was just like porn to him and that he would never do it again. I said I was going home because it was all to much to me and I'm not every good at processing things when they have just happened to me. But he started crying and begging me to stay so we could talk about everything so I did stay.
He told me that it would never happen again and that he knows that it was bad but in some way he just thought of it as porn. He also deleted the account and told me that he would not watch porn again as well.
Another thing is that the night before I explained to him how him watching porn makes me feel and I know he wasn't really understanding what I said but he said he would try and not watch it.
This all happened about a month ago and I can't stop thinking about it. I've told him that I think about it sometimes and get upset but at the same time I feel like a bad person for even telling him that when I told him I forgive him.
I don't know if this has happened to anyone else but I would really like some advice on what i should do? Sorry if this isn't the best writing.

After doing a fair bit of researched I've come to the conclusion I most likely have and have had for years now a depersonalization disorder, I've stumbled on the symptoms before when looking up MtF transition stuff but never really made a deeper connection.
I think it'd explain my seeming inability to "grow up" and change as a person. With this I don't mean just that I'm immature, but rather that I'm subconsciously roleplaying as like 15-17yr old me (I am 20 now) because the me that should exist at 20 just isn't there. I don't feel like I have an identity of my own, so I latch on to things that used to form my identity in the past - I still wear the same clothes (partly because I don't care to buy new ones), have the same hairstyle, listen to the same music, play the same games, even my remaining friends are all people I've known for 5+ years despite being in an environment where I should be connecting with people (university).
I can't grow as a person because there is nothing inside that could grow - for change there should be an individual, and, as they experience life, they change in various ways and evolve. The me currently existing is just a mishmash of past impressions and any time something happens in my life, good or bad, I don't care and it doesn't impact me at all, I just remain the same ghost I was before.

I'll delete this soon
gf said they couldn't handle my anxiety anymore, we were together for a year and a half, closer to 2 years, and in these last weaks my anxiety episodes have been very frequent, they all start because of some pointless argument that they start with me, they don't agree/understand my opinion and blasted of, saying that I was yelling at them, I only yell with people when people start yelling or being agressive towards me in the first place, but they make me feel and believe that I'm the only one yelling and I'm the one who started yelling, and when I said that they were the one who started the big deal out of nothing, they tell me otherwise, they say that I was the one who couldn't leave, even tho that they were the one forcing me to explain to them why would I believe that my opinion was like that, and not the way they think, so they would say that I was the one keep going with everything. the whole point of me saying that I was not a conflictive person, and saying that I would barely create any kind of problems and argument with long time friends, was form them to see that I didn't want to get in a fight with them, that was not my point at all, I don't care if they think something is different that I think, but apparently was a big mistake saying that, because they said that my relationships with my friends could never be compared to a romantic relationship, I was just trying to tell them that I was not a conflictive person, that I wanted no conflicts with them, they would also say that they told me things that I had no memory at all that they said that. they said that I needed therapy cause I can not control my anxiety, they and my parents are the only people who make me burst out and have anxiety attacks, no one else make me this way in these last 10 years, my anxiety attacks used to be provoked by thoughts of me being sick, having deadly sickness, fear of dieing while sleeping, fear of being left behind, it would never be provoked by people, except my parents who sometimes yell at me and call me basically useless and nothing I'll do is good enough for them, and no matter how hard I try, there's always going to be something wrong. gf told me lots of times to get therapy, I told them that at this time in my life I don't have the privilege to pay, I don't earn much and paying for therapy would make me feel even more anxious, because I would be in the constant stress that I have to pay for the therapy, I'm waiting for finishing my thesis which it's deadline is in September, I can't handle all this things happening at the same time, and they keep pressuring me for that which makes me feel even more anxious she doesn't understand that it's hurting me , and if I try to say that they'll blast out to me and somehow will make it my fault and if I try to say something I'm being agressive and yelling towards them, I have a deadline until September, it's my masters, when I'm done with that I can finally be a teacher and I can finally gain decent money to afford a therapist for my anxiety, but rn I'm feeling so sad, so unmotivated, I wish I didn't exist anymore, I bet my mom is happy because I'm not in a gay relationship anyone, I love them so much I don't want to bother them anymore, I don't want to annoy them anymore, i can't focus on my goals, I'm going to miss my deadline, I feel like nothing matters anymore I is getting close to their birthday, I was about to give them a game they talked to me they liked, idk what to do now, I don't really want to cause more problems
sorry for bad English :(

Disclaimer: English is not my first language My (21f) friend Dominique (20f) and I have known each other for several months. We met in our school's acapella club and both developed crushes on Jason (23m). Dominique and Jason have more in common than I do with him, so it was no surprise that he chose to be with her. I didn't take it personally. I never tried to guess the reason or felt insecure about him not being interested in me until last fall.
As we played a drinking game, Jason repeatedly called me "submissive" and said I looked like a housewife but he said them like they were slurs. But this past March, as we were all together with our mutual friends. We were talking about insecurities in dating. I said, "I sometimes wonder if I'm ugly," and Jason, who had been silent the entire time, said, "At least you're aware of it." I left. Jason texted me that night to explain that he was joking, but according to Dominique, Jason's jokes are his true thoughts he passes off as jokes.
Jason and Dominique started dating and they would flirt with each other during club meetings. It didn't feel good to see them like that. It also didn't sit right with me that Dominique was dating a guy who called me ugly in front of her. I withdrew from the friend group for this and other reasons. Our friends constantly invite me to hang out with Dominique, but I make excuses not to.
Last Friday, my cousin called and asked me why I was home alone on a Friday night. I told her. My cousin said I was punishing Dominique. I think I am doing the opposite. My self-esteem issues are mine to deal with, and I can't be a good friend to her until this is solved. We aren't close, so I didn't see the problem in distancing myself. Dominique only texts to say I have a crush on her or send memes about me being bi (kinda rude), so I think she's fine with it.
AITA for avoiding my friend because I am jealous of her? Tl;dr- my crush called me ugly and started dating my friend. I am jealous of said friend and stopped hanging out with her because of that. We are not close, so I didn't think it mattered. My cousin says I'm punishing her. I don't think she would want a friend who's jealous of her and that it's better I don't see her. AITA?

17 weeks now and I want to tell my family, it’s not that I don’t think they’ll be supportive, I already have a 2 year old they adore and I go to school, have a full time job, my own place with my fiancé, etc.. so I’m doing alright, but I just remember how overbearing they were during my first pregnancy. Every conversation seemed to be baby related or asking how I’m feeling. I hate being the center of attention, or any attention at all really. It just makes me so uncomfortable and I can’t explain why. My mom would ask a bunch of times to see and feel my belly and then make me feel bad when I said no, or she’d keep asking. “But I’m your mom…”. Always asking me how my clothes are still fitting, how much I’ve gained, what did the dr say??? Every time I came back from an appt. It just drove me fucking nuts. I remember my aunt kept asking me a week before I was due to send her pictures of my belly and I never did and every time we talked after that she’d ask for them again. The constant stares, treating me differently. It makes me want to cry to be honest lol I can’t stand it. I don’t even know how to announce it because I’m just so uncomfortable about it . I had to text my mom and tell her I was pregnant with my first and she said that hurt her which I feel bad about it but I can’t help the way I feel. Any advice ? Anyone been through this. And I see my family several times a week so it’s getting harder to hide. I know I don’t have to tell anyone but I feel like I need too I just am really dreading it.

I was raped 7 years ago by a boyfriend. I finally mustered the courage to go to police about it.

• I made an online report about a month ago
• Two weeks later, I did a short interview to clarify some details (just investigative information like house addresses and the name of the guy - I went in-depth with my online interview, so I thankfully didn't have to deal with that shit again).
• Today, I did a longer, harrowing interview. This is where I had take the interviewer step-by-step through the rape. This final interview from today was recorded, and this video will be used as evidence in court.

This is a classic "he-said, she-said" case.
To be honest, I never expected anything to come of my report. I initially made the report so I could feel like I was finally 'fighting back' and 'taking control' of the event in some way. You get me? At the time, I did nothing to defend myself, and now I want to finally fight back. I didn't actually expect the guy to go through jail time. The MOST I expected was for him to get a black mark on his name, or something of that ilk. My primary goal was to do this for my own mental health and empowerment. But it turns out, he may go to prison after all.
On multiple occasions throughout the process, police have asked me two things:

• "Do you want to take the next step?" (am I ok with doing an interview? do I want to take this to court? etc...)
• "What do you expect to get out of this process?" (why are you here? do you want him jailed? would you be ok to just have this report on record?)

Every time I've been asked these questions, I repeatedly expressed concern that my word doesn't seem like it's enough for a conviction. I expressed my reasons for doing all this in the first place, and explained that I don't really expect much to come of it. In response, the police have repeatedly assured me "hell yeah, your word is definitely enough. It qualifies as evidence. It's enough to put him in prison."
And I just... I don't know, man. On the one hand, yay! This is good for me. And it's good for other victims. I support it. On the other hand, what the fuck? This is bad for anyone who's been accused falsely of rape. I don't support that. This is where my dilemma comes in: I know that I'm telling the truth. But I feel gross about getting a man convicted of rape with my word, alone. I don't feel like I should have that kind of 'power', if that makes sense? It leaves me with this horrible, sick feeling of guilt. It's absurd. I mean - he RAPED me. I was there! But, Idk. I just feel like I'm breaking an important moral code, here. Does that make sense? Do you understand me? To make matters worse, this dilemma comes with other complications: If court runs on a "he-said, she-said" basis for rape, that means HIS word is equally powerful, and that is terrifying.

• I'm scared that he will put on a good 'show' in his own interviews, and in court, and will appear more believable than me.
• This happened 7 years ago, and my memory is foggy in places. I'm scared that my testimony will be challenged in valid ways, and I won't be able to dispute them, or answer accurately - making me seem like a liar.
  • On instinct, I would almost certainly acknowledge my mistake and amend my statement after realising I've made an error or misremembered something. But I'm terrified that this might cause me to potentially lose credibility in the eyes of the judge and jury. Anything else would feel contemptible. But it comes with two problems:
    • if my honesty makes me seem dishonest and leads to a not-guilty verdict, I'll probably despise myself for being so naive and I'll be inconsolable.
    • Immediately after this response/amendment, I will likely lose confidence in myself, and perform poorly through the rest of the court proceedings. I don't want this.
• His family may attack me. They're really lovely people, but I think they might have good reason to hate me, if I threw him in jail for rape with a he-said-she-said court case. I feel like they would have good reason to think I were just doing this to lie and be cruel. Especially because:
  • I had tried to kill myself twice while we were together, and threatened suicide. His family knows. I grew very depressed after the rape, but never told anyone about it. It messed with my head.
  • I have good reason to hate him, and have expressed it several times. The relationship grew very unstable and hateful towards the end. He cheated on me for most of that relationship. It sucked big time.
• Worse - what if they go after my family? They don't even KNOW that I was raped - and I am NOT gonna tell them about the court case. I think I'll just unalive if that happens.

Just, idk. I have real hangups about honesty and accountability, and this is messing me up SO bad right now. I just feel horribly sick. I feel like if I go to court, I'll feel compelled to 'put on a show' just to feel like I'm being believed. You know how when you're anxious in a social setting, and you feel like you have to 'act normal'. I feel constantly like I have to act 'honest' lol. It's absurd. It's messing me up so bad, and court feels like a horrible disaster just waiting to happen. But I also feel like if I don't go to court, I'll hate myself forever for backing down like a coward. I WANT to go to court and get this rapist imprisoned. I dunno what to do. This is my rant. I hope someone can offer some advice. But if not, thank you for reading, anyway.

My father in law (60ishM) is a widower, MIL (60ish) died 1.5 years ago. Husband (32M) and I (31F) have been a couple for 10 years, married for 2. We previously had a difficult few years with no contact from me towards MIL in particular because she would have unpredictable angry outbursts and I could not subject myself to that anymore. I never confronted her or anything, just would not come around anymore and after a while they noticed that husband would come alone and they did not receive invites to visit. She died from a chronic illness but nevertheless quite suddenly, and we both were in the hospital with them as she passed and helping with the funeral afterwards.
I need to explain that in their family, historically MILs behaviour would be rugswept immediately, and appearances were to be upheld. Nothing is ever talked through, in fear of her throwing a fit. After she passed, we learned that FIL had the same behaviour, when my husband asked something benign about his schooldays. Apparently MIL was just always quicker to react. My husband is very avoidant about talking and asking for consideration or explanations, not surprisingly.
Soon after MILs death, we got pregnant with our first, he is half a year now. It was difficult for my FIL to visit with us as MIL had never been invited to our (not new anymore) house, but a month after the birth of our son he came to visit with my sister in law. They live 40 minutes by car. My sister in law has downs syndrome and lives in an assisted living facility while working as well. She is as involved as can be with our son, asking for frequent updates and photos. We got them both digital photoframes for their houses, and regularly put up photos. We invited them for Christmas as well, and went for our first visit when LO was 3 months old. FIL seems to enjoy holding LO and talking to him, like genuinely happy. The baby hates car rides with a passion though and we obviously need to haul a lot of stuff for a visit, so taking turns visiting would be nice.
We have visited again last weekend for SILs birthday, and it was not enjoyable. No consideration for our sons needs, no consideration for his health or what we as parents ask of FIL (e.g. not letting baby grab SILs glasses from her face, not letting baby touch his or SILs mouth due to cold sores, being excessively loud in the hallway after he literally witnessed and helped us put baby to nap just 2 minutes earlier). So we can’t leave them unattended, and in case of the nap, I had to take baby outside in a wrap and have him contactnap during a walk. Not fun. So there really is hardly any quality time left to spend for them. FIL only ever calls if he needs something from my husband, like a signature. He never asks about our son, never asks for photos, immediately changes topics when we talk about something we or son did, responds vaguely when we ask to do stuff together and never follows up when plans could get concrete.
My husband and I talked about trying to improve the relationship, we’d both like that, but at this rate we will see him with SILs birthday and maybe around Christmas.
Today, the reason why I am posting, is that we forgot the babymonitor at FILs during SILs birthday, and inquired whether he could send it via post. Instead, he said he would come over. Great, we thought, finally he takes initiative to see us/his grandson just because! However, he came by, would not go inside, but said he wanted to make photos at the nearby beach. We asked if he would come by again after. No, no time, apparently, he needs to do something in his yard. So he left. This is not really new behaviour, so I don’t know why we are surprised. He is frequently in the town we live in the suburbs of, or at the beach closeby, but usually we hear about it afterwards, not literally see him turn away after 3 minutes standing on the porch.
At this point, it feels intentional, and my husband and I assume he just does not want to interact with us and our son much. What if our assumption is wrong though, and his distant behaviour is based in grief and boomer-awkwardness? Husband is thinking of asking about clarification on this, as we keep trying to reach out and would then stop putting effort into this relationship that is not wanted by him, getting rejected in the process which kinda damages the relationship further. He thinks he already knows though that FIL will take it badly, misunderstand what he tries to say, tell husband he is ungrateful, yada yada. Husband sadly has a script in his head for situations like this, as they always go the same way, no matter what he asks. It seems as if he (or I) is not actually listened to when we speak. I am thinking of writing a empathic and non-judgmental letter, but husband thinks this is too confrontational and would end the same way. Anger and hurt feelings. We have had a couples therapist in the past to try to sort out the situation with MIL, but never got around to the mediation part with MIL and FIL. Husband was stalling out of fear for months and then MIL declined so rapidly. Both me and husband think there is potential in having a few family sessions with FIL and the therapist, but husband is afraid of even actually touching on the subject in conversation, much less ask for participation in therapy.
I’d like help from the community. Whenever stuff like this happens, my husbands feelings get hurt, and I am brooding all day about ways to improve the relationship without ever saying anything to FIL as husband doesn’t want to escalate anything. Are we delusional here, is there too much buried hurt and grief and should we drop the rope so FIL can live his best life? Should we make one concentrated effort, with clear words explaining how we’d like to have a better relationship and how to work towards that (e.g. no angry outbursts anymore)? The situation is so difficult as well because of lovely SIL and her life long dependancy on a caretaker. However, any care decisions have always been made and still are made without even asking what my husband thinks or wants, which will suck later on.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Tl;dr: Widower FIL is happy when he sees grandson, but does not pursue meeting up to the point it seems intentional. There is a lot of hurt feelings probably on both sides, should we keep trying to improve the relationship or let it fizzle out?

Being faced with an ultimatum and need feedback
My (32f) fiancée, Mark, (35f)of 5 years and I decided to open our relationship 6 months ago. When we met, he was the one to introduce the concept of poly to me and said, though he was happy to be monogamous for now, he thought it was important that we eventually considered opening our relationship in some way in the future. We’ve had innumerable talks about it over the years and he made a few comments about wanting to get started himself which I agreed I was theoretically open to, but almost every time got emotional at the thought of it happening now.
About a year ago I started a new job and became instantly attracted to a coworker (27m), we’ll call him Lee. The first 6 months of that were simple, exciting, flirty (fiancée and I have always been okay with more flirtation than more traditional couples). Nothing ever crossed the line and I never knew if Lee felt similarly or if he was just mirroring my behavior and having fun. I also didn’t shy away from telling Mark about my feelings, but since I wasn’t sure if it was something I was ready to pursue, Mark didn’t realize how strongly I was feeling about Lee.
6 months ago, I asked if it was something I could pursue. Mark was onboard immediately, we ordered More Than One, I kissed and talked to Lee that weekend, and things went off from there.
A few things happened since Lee and I started dating:
1) since we work together, most of our time is spent after work together. Mark & I, just prior to this didn’t share a similar work schedule and weren’t spending much time in those hours, but at the same time as the start of my relationship with Lee, that shifted and I think he expected to go back to after-work quality time together though this was never explicitly stated
2) Lee and I never made date plans on nights that Mark was available. We went on proper dates about once a month, and though I’d stay out with him for 6+ hours, it was always on nights that the bulk of those hours weren’t interfering with time with Mark.
3) I kissed another person during this time that crossed a few boundaries for Mark, including some we had discussed. It was not a romantic thing, but I’d been drinking. Lee was also around.
4) Mark expressed he wasn’t feeling prioritized as much as he needed to be in the latter 3 months of this. We had many difficult talks but he insisted it wasn’t Lee or even necessarily the poly that was causing this. But a pattern of behavior of mine that was being highlighted by our new situation.
5) Mark never dated anyone in this time. We both downloaded apps and he tried, but I think it didn’t happen for a handful of reasons.
6) The final straw. Mark was out of town and Lee and I had a big night out, came to my apartment to walk the dog (which is off limits for sexual activity), and spent the night at his place. I accidentally left my phone at mine. In the morning, once I was home, Mark called me asking how my night was. I told him everything and he revealed to me that he thought I had broken some very strong boundaries (he used term cheated). Mark had seen on our camera that we came in, I turned the camera around, and then never put it back so it looks like we never left. I explained the night in more detail, and I could tell and he confirmed he believed me once I explained the story. Reasoning behind turning the camera is that it alerts us both with motion sensor and also records audio. I found that all really inappropriate while I’m having a candid hang with Lee and also didn’t want to send Mark a million notifications in the middle of the night. I provided proof that we weren’t at our place that night and Mark confirmed he believed me but had spent 5 hours in this state of panic and convinced I’d done something unforgivable.
So now, Mark’s expressed that he doesn’t think we can get past the issues of prioritization and respect nor can he trust me to make the right decisions for our primary relationship while I’m with Lee and has handed me an ultimatum (his words). Trust has never been an issue for him in the past.
Can anyone offer any advice on this situation or how to express everything to Lee without overloading him?
TIA. I’m absolutely heartbroken.

My cat needs a sticky medicine twice a day. It's basically a sugar syrup (indigestible, gives her softer poops). For the better part of the year, I'd leave the cap off. Why bother? It didn't move from the kitchen counter except when I was filling her syringe. Why need a lid? Sure, sometimes it fell over, but it never spilled.
I started ADHD medication on May 12 (day after my 36th birthday). Without even thinking about it, I started capping that bottle after every use.
On Sunday, I skipped a dose because I needed to save a pill before my next doctor's appointment.
I had to argue with my own brain to cap that bottle. It was an actual fight.
I told my mom this on Monday, and she sort of stared at me for a minute, then said "It... never occurred to me that you just... couldn't cap the bottle. You wasted so much energy arguing with yourself instead of just...capping the bottle."
(Tone check: my mom has been THOROUGHLY supportive of my journey and helping adjust how she reacts to me to make my life easier. This was a legit mind blowing moment for her, not judgement)
I did not realize I was blowing her mind immediately and continued on. "Yeah, it's like that for everything I don't immediately want to do. I have to beg, cajole, plead, make it a game, and even then my brain goes "nah," and it's not worth the fight for something like capping a bottle!"
Across the table from me, my mom softly goes, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
We talked some more about brains, but I think it was relating that tiny, insignificant task and how much of a struggle it was that actually made things click for her. It's not about not having enough willpower, or being lazy, or not knowing what to do. Our brains actively fight us, and so much of our energy goes to that battle. I never realized that when people say they have to trick or bribe themselves into doing things, they aren't talking about mundane tasks like capping a bottle you're just going to open again. My mom never realized that I was.
Anyway, I love my mom, and I'm back on my meds and the bottle is capped. I just thought this was an interesting anecdote that might help y'all explain things to NT people: it's not just the big stuff, it's everything.

Hi, I was recently diagnosed with PNES. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, PTSD for more then a decade now (I am 27). I had a 3 day hospital visit for a video EEG, they recorded my brain activity and I've also had an MRI within the past few months. Most of the time right before i 'blackout' I can feel it. I've read that its called an 'aura'. But I've never been able to fully explain this feeling when my vision changes and anything that I am looking at becomes more vivid or clear. And other objects around just kind of turn blurry. When my 'blackouts' occur I become silent and I have no idea what's going on around me, I have no memory of what happens during. They seem to last 30 seconds to up to 5 minutes usually. I've only had one occurrence where I did anything but just stare blankly as if I've just seen a ghost. My partner and I were in the process of cutting our cats nails. Him, holding the cat, and I had the clippers. During that, He had told me that I just stopped, I became pale. as the cat was squirming trying to get away (most cats don't care for getting there nails cut) he said "babe! I have the cat, are you okay?" And after he said that I apparently started to giggle and lean backwards. Few minutes passed by and I came out of the bedroom, and asked him if we finished doing the nails, and he said no. Any other time I've always just stopped and stared, I've never fallen or hurt myself during an episode. I would like any help or advice for during my monthly. They seem to happen more frequently and I have not been stressed as much as I used to be, or even at all really, In the past year, We've moved, Don't have money struggles, (living with dad) so the only things we have to worry about is our own bills (car, phone, snacks etc) I've been on the same medication for about a year now (Sertraline, 150MG) and the past few months after upping from 100MG I've seemed to control my emotions better and not be a ball of anxiety. But the episodes still happen

gf said they couldn't handle my anxiety anymore, we were together for a year and a half, closer to 2 years, and in these last weaks my anxiety episodes have been very frequent, they all start because of some pointless argument that they start with me, they don't agree/understand my opinion and blasted of, saying that I was yelling at them, I only yell with people when people start yelling or being agressive towards me in the first place, but they make me feel and believe that I'm the only one yelling and I'm the one who started yelling, and when I said that they were the one who started the big deal out of nothing, they tell me otherwise, they say that I was the one who couldn't leave, even tho that they were the one forcing me to explain to them why would I believe that my opinion was like that, and not the way they think, so they would say that I was the one keep going with everything. the whole point of me saying that I was not a conflictive person, and saying that I would barely create any kind of problems and argument with long time friends, was form them to see that I didn't want to get in a fight with them, that was not my point at all, I don't care if they think something is different that I think, but apparently was a big mistake saying that, because they said that my relationships with my friends could never be compared to a romantic relationship, I was just trying to tell them that I was not a conflictive person, that I wanted no conflicts with them, they would also say that they told me things that I had no memory at all that they said that. they said that I needed therapy cause I can not control my anxiety, they and my parents are the only people who make me burst out and have anxiety attacks, no one else make me this way in these last 10 years, my anxiety attacks used to be provoked by thoughts of me being sick, having deadly sickness, fear of dieing while sleeping, fear of being left behind, it would never be provoked by people, except my parents who sometimes yell at me and call me basically useless and nothing I'll do is good enough for them, and no matter how hard I try, there's always going to be something wrong. gf told me lots of times to get therapy, I told them that at this time in my life I don't have the privilege to pay, I don't earn much and paying for therapy would make me feel even more anxious, because I would be in the constant stress that I have to pay for the therapy, I'm waiting for finishing my thesis which it's deadline is in September, I can't handle all this things happening at the same time, and they keep pressuring me for that which makes me feel even more anxious she doesn't understand that it's hurting me , and if I try to say that they'll blast out to me and somehow will make it my fault and if I try to say something I'm being agressive and yelling towards them, I have a deadline until September, it's my masters, when I'm done with that I can finally be a teacher and I can finally gain decent money to afford a therapist for my anxiety, but rn I'm feeling so sad, so unmotivated, I wish I didn't exist anymore, I bet my mom is happy because I'm not in a gay relationship anyone, I love them so much I don't want to bother them anymore, I don't want to annoy them anymore, i can't focus on my goals, I'm going to miss my deadline, I feel like nothing matters anymore
sorry for bad English :(

HR background situation: We don’t have an HR. Well, we have a proxy HR on site and we outsource our actual HR to a company called Paychex… but they “only work with management.” I found out when I accidentally was sent an email with her CCed and emailed her myself.
Now the ACTUAL situation: I work at a small non-profit. A few weeks back, I had a work-sponsored speaker at a work event that was wildly inappropriate with me. She insulted me as a person and then demanded I hug her. When I said no, she put her arms around me anyways. When I didn’t move, she insisted I had to hug her back. This is not my first incident at work being touched unnecessarily, so I escalated it. I also figured since this isn’t a work employee, they’d be more willing to do something or show some support.
I explained the situation to our Proxy HR as part of the “investigation.” When they asked me what I wanted to happen, I expressed that workplace boundaries is an ongoing issue for this company and gave several examples of one supervisor (not mine and we have no actual relationship) grabbing me now twice, despite me asking her not to. I also mentioned other staff incidents. I said these are all examples of why we, as a group, need to review our expectations of boundaries. I insisted I’m aware no one meant any harm in any of their actions, but they were still inappropriate. I wasn’t sure what we could do about the guest speaker since they weren’t an employee, so I just said reviewing workplace boundaries as a group and without any one in particular called out would be best. Proxy HR assured me this would be handled with discretion.
Three weeks ago, I received an email from proxy HR demanding I meet with the supervisor I mentioned for a “mediated discussion.” I said no, that wasn’t appropriate, there’s a power dynamic issue and so a mediation isn’t an option, and that I never asked to report separately, address, or bring up any of these incidents with the supervisor directly and it seemed we were getting off course of the main issue. It was here that I emailed the Paychex HR lady, who said she only worked with her client’s management and they would be handling it.
YESTERDAY, I received an email from proxy HR that she’s discussed this in length with leadership (which includes the supervisor???) and they’ll “respect my wishes” to decline to meet with the supervisor, but I need to have a written mediation and I have 5 days to respond on “my side.” She then attached a letter from the supervisor which has some absolutely insane allegations of discrimination towards her as a POC and gaslights the hell out of me. I like to think I’m aware of my white privilege and am very thoughtful about the impacts my subconscious acts of privilege may have, especially as a disabled person who has been discriminated against for my identity. My issue wasn’t related at all to that. And again, this is over being touched multiple times despite stated boundaries and this itself wasn’t even reported as an incident. I have no idea how we got here.
I’m looking for work as I have been for months and “just quit” isn’t an option. What the hell am I meant to do here? I’m so flabbergasted this was some solution they thought was appropriate.

Looking for more insight/shared experiences on this but I’ve never had a dream like this before and curious if others have.
Essentially, I dreamt what felt to me like an acute psychotic break. I was myself living a different but normal life in a big city. Felt like a normal day/routine (at least in this dream version of myself) until I started noticing things going slightly wrong. I became aware of these very light disturbances until I got home, when a raccoon-like animal started trying to get in my house. Suddenly a moose appeared on the doorstep and tries breaking in. I’m aware this is impossible and as I try grappling with it, I go upstairs and see a man floating in front of the window, like levitating with his nose against the glass staring in. Suddenly he gets in and attacks my family and I fend him off. Across the street the houses suddenly became full of goblin creatures that were firing flame arrows.
It got progressively weirder from there. I don’t recall every bizarre incident but I know the feeling was that it was absolutely bonkers but somehow connected and made sense. In the dream state, I was aware of a fixed reality and my departure from it. I had the notion that every event was connected and would somehow explain itself in a grand cohesive narrative. I remember being in the streets talking to people, but being aware the whole time that the madness I was experiencing didn’t make sense.
The dream resolves by me coming back home and talking to people I know. Innocuous conversations as my reality became more fixed and normal. It culminates with me asking a girl I knew if I’d said or done anything strange that night and her telling me that I was ranting and raving and acting like a lunatic. Then I understood that I’d been experiencing some kind of psychosis and all the bizarre elements from the break turned out to be grounded on normal things within my dream life.
Then I woke up and haven’t stopped thinking about it. Not once did I think I was in a dream, only that my perception of reality had drastically stretched. Would love to know if anyone had any similar experiences in their dreams? (And despite the horror, at no point did I feel fear or terror, so I won’t call it a nightmare)

Hello all,
Looking for any recommended courses, guides, tools, etc. for someone who has never painted anything aside from walls in their house. Something that maybe explains technical paint terms a bit like primers, acrylic vs. oil.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed trying to start somewhere 😓